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How can I get my 17 yr old daughter to care about her grades.

She is a smart kid and she is a good kid. She has not had any problems until he Jr. year. She is in her Senior year. I have tried to talk to her and she says she wants me to leave her alone. She is not intrested in talking to me al all. She has always been a quiet child, she is the middle child 2 older and 2 younger. She does not have alot of friends, does not like drama. Had a boyfrien but we never meet him, Her Dad and I are married and we have a good relationship.I miss my daughter and want to have a good no a great relationship. Any suggestions?

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Asked by DPottabomb at 5:51 PM on Nov. 29, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • That should have been something done much earlier in her life, not at 17. She is also at that age where they know everything.... this too shall pass mom....

    Answer by older at 5:53 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • My situation with my 17 yr old DD sisn't turn out to great. She was an A honor roll student. For some reason she also lost interest in school. I tried everything but nothing worked she had all ready made up her mind and dropped out of high school. She went t job corp and that was really terrible. She came back worst! Then she finally left home with a boyfriend and legally theres nothing I can do about it. Don't ever blame yourself for her decisions. I hope things go better for you and will be praying for your family!

    Answer by suelo74 at 5:57 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Does she have a cell phone?.. a car?.. if she has these things and others that you pay for, I would take them if her grades did not improve. other wise make her get a job. by this age she should know that either you finish school and get good grades so that you can go on to college and make a good living, or you work your ass off at mc donalds, either way.. sounds like she needs to be more responsible. :) gl

    Answer by young-not-dumb at 5:59 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • When I was 16 or 17, my dad made a deal with me that as long as I got the grades, I didn't have to show up to school. I showed up sometimes, took tests, whatever. But I didn't go that often. My grades actually went up. These days I don't think you can do that though because they have new attendance requirements.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 6:01 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Try to remember that her grades belong to her, and while you can't make her care about them, you can make her dislike the consequences when she doesn't keep them up. I can't tell you what consequences will work best for your daughter, but you may have some good ideas; if she likes to do something you can take away that privilege until her grades are up. You can also call her counselor and ask them to talk to her about what is going on and where she wants to go from here; you can even ask the counselor not to mention that you are the one who made the referral.


    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 6:07 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Thanks everyone, Yes I did wait maybe to long, but it is not too late!!!! She has a job and she has a car that she paid for. She is only allowed to drive to and from work, because I am very busy with the younger kids. She has a cell phone that she pays for also. Very hard to take these things away when she pays for them. She also pays for her car insurance. She has always been very responsible, she just is hating school and cant express to me why!!!! I have been in close contact with the counsler I got rid of the 1st one because she was worthless , this guy I have is doing alot to help her. Getting her in some computer classes to keep her from not having enough credits. There is still hope for her. I need advice to get closer to her and find away to get her to open up. She is my one child I never worried about, always was the best one. I guess I said it one to many times.

    Comment by DPottabomb (original poster) at 7:15 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • :( maybe she's having personal problems than. could be with a boyfriend or friends, or other kids picking on her. kids can be very cruel! just keep trying to talk to her. I know you said you're busy, but try to take her out to the mall or for coffee or something like that. believe me at this age, every teenage girl really wants to be able to talk to her mother, but usually feel like they just can't. be understanding with whatever she tells you, if you react in the wrong way it will be much harder to get her to open up again :) GL!

    Answer by young-not-dumb at 10:24 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Maybe she is having problems with her classes, teachers, kids at school. Maybe it is too much working and being in high school. You can not take away things that she has paid for and continues to pay for. Let her know that you are there when she is ready to talk. Don't push her because the more you push, the more she will walk away. Talk to her teachers and see if something is going on at school, otherwise, you have to let her make her own mistakes and learn from them. That is the hardest thing for us moms to do but it has to be done so they can grow and become the adult they are meant to become.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:58 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I will try very hard to do what you suggested. I have a older daughter and we use to fight and she was independent also, we did not get along when she lived here but we are doing great now. So I am hoping this daughter will open up to me soon also.
    They are so different maybe that is why this one is so hard! She just won't talk and the older one did. I will keep trying, I love all my kids so much and want them to do well. Wish me and her luck! Thanks for sharing!

    Comment by DPottabomb (original poster) at 1:09 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Maybe take her out for a mother n' daughter's day for lunch & a movie. My daughter talks to me when we do this stuff. Don't judge her when she tells you things, just listen as a friend

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 1:19 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

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