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How do you feel about teen privacy issues?

Growing up, my mom had no problem looking through my stuff and reading any and every bit of information she could etc. She does not regret it, in fact she's kinda proud of it, lol! Now that I have my own teen (boy) I tend to lean toward snooping but I remember how betrayed I felt. On the flip side, would I have felt so betrayed if I had nothing to hide (I had plenty to hide lol!)? There has to be middle ground somewhere, right?

Is there a reasonable expectation of privacy for your teen? Do you snoop? If so why and how do you justify it? If not, feel free to explain why you feel the way you do :)

Thanks.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:03 PM on Nov. 29, 2010 in Parenting Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I've already taught my children that as long as they live in my house and I am paying their way, their privacy is a privilege. I won't randomly ransack their rooms on a whim or read their e-mails or texts or journals for my pleasure, but they will (and do) share their passwords with me. They understand that if I think they are having trouble that they aren't sharing with me, I will look through their things so that I can help them. I don't barge into their rooms when the doors are shut, but if I knock, they better answer immediately. If they don't, I'm coming in. And they know it's because I love them and I have to protect them and guide them and help them grow into responsible adults.

    But, we're just entering adolescence. Check back with me in a few years. ;)
    May-20

    Answer by May-20 at 12:15 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I think teens should have some privacy unless they've given you a reason to not trust them. Parents might not feel the need to snoop if they are having open communication with their teen...which is a better way to find out what is going on in their life. This article about communicating and connecting with your teen might be helfpul http://www.ehow.com/how_5512326_communicate-connect-teenager.html

    momjs

    Answer by momjs at 7:26 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I don't believe so. I always looked at it like this: They are my responsibility living under my roof. They have no privacy. If I suspected my daughter was hiding something from me, yeah, I snooped. It's actually how I prevented a couple big time ooops! lol!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 7:18 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I will give my kids privacy as they earn it. If they loose my trust, they will loose their privacy.
    Gal51

    Answer by Gal51 at 9:13 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Our plan as of now (mine are still little) Is that we will not 'snoop' but if we ask to see something, social network page, backpack, bedroom... it will be done that second. We will not betray trust but we will expect cooperation.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 7:27 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Gal51 expresses it correctly and succinctly. In a family setting, privacy is a right to be earned and not an automatic privilege.
    janet116

    Answer by janet116 at 12:09 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • You know what, I had a mother that searched my room, read my journals and broke every trust there was. To this day I have very little trust for her and am uncomfortable to leave her in my home without me there... I could never imagine doing that to my children, and frankly, I don't go through their things now without them and they aren't teens... Even when it comes to be time to sort through toys and whatnot I always make sure they are there. I feel their things are their things, their room is their room, and their privacy is deserved, even as children and especially as teens. If you have raised your children in a manner which allows you to have a solid trusting relationship then you have no reason to search their things. Besides, I don't really know what I would be looking for, I don't really have anything I can think of they would have a need to hide from me...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:00 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • They are under 18 and living under my roof I have every right to look through anything I want. After 18 if I'm paying for it then I still have a right ie. computer, cell phone. After they are 18 if I feel something is wrong then yes I will still go through their stuff.
    trachmom312

    Answer by trachmom312 at 3:02 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • The only time I snooped was when I knew as a mother something was terribly wrong and I was not being let in to help. Teen privacy ends when communication ends in my book.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:13 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • I do not snoop ever.
    Not his telephone, his Ipod, his computer, or his conversations nor his homework.
    My son has been making his own decisions and basically living his own life as he wants and chooses since he was 13.
    I have absolutely no problem with this, He is way too busy and I could never keep up with him or his schedule.
    I've never believed in the "living under my roof" mantra either. He has to live under my roof because he is not legal yet and did not ask to be born. Just by virtue of being a child, that doesn't mean he has less rights or privledges, nor does his thoughts and feelings mean less. He deserves as much privacy as any adult in this house and he gets it.
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 9:38 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

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