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I think i might be jumping to far adult content

this subject maybe a lil to touchy for some i do warn you...

My 2 toddler daughters went to their fathers for a week for the first time.... He had been in prison for a year and i was tryn to be nice so i let them leave the state to go to his house for a while.... well he has a history of sexaul acts with his younger sister. And since my daughters have been home their acts have changed and my girlfriend is a cop and she recently went through training on telling signs in molested children and they have more then the signs she had learned. I donno if im jumping to far because ive mad a appointment for my children to be looked at tomorrow.... When they came home they had bruses along their knees legs and ankles and cuts on the ankles... They scream and cry none stop all daylong and im not exagerating either. My older one wont tell me when she has to go potty any more and kicks and screams when i go to change her underwear and clean her up. The younger one will not let me change her diaper. when you pick them up they wont wrap their legs around us anymore they keep them locked, they stay in their room wrapped in blankets..... We are really worried about these little girls.. Someone i work with told me im going to far in thinking that but i dont think i am because i know how my kids normally act and how they changed and i know him. There is alot more to it but its too much and rough to express

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:48 PM on Nov. 29, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (13)
  • Why on earth did you let them go out of state to stay with a man fresh out of prison and who has history with sexual abuse? That's not "trying to be nice" that's plain irresponsible and a bad decision. The signs your referring to do sound very frightening. Mother always knows her kids best. Have you tried talking to them about it without coming out and making the conversation too adult like? You'd be supposed what children will tell you..i hope for every ones sake that this turns out to be nothing.
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 7:54 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • surprised is what I meant...sorry I'm on my cell
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 7:55 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Honey, I don't think you're jumping too far, and I'm glad that you're taking them to the doctor. But pardon me if this comes off as rude or insensitive, I'm honestly just trying to understand.... If you knew that he had a history of sexual abuse with his younger sister, why did you let him be alone with your girls, let alone take them out of state? If I were in your position, there's no way in hell I'd be letting them go with him. Visits would be supervised by me or someone I trusted at all times. Sure, he may be their dad, but there's a certain point where the line should be drawn.
    Eviesmommy

    Answer by Eviesmommy at 7:58 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • OP: i let them go b/c the court says i have to let them go to his house so many times a year and the sister thing happened when he was like 13 so i didnt think anything of it
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:59 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • That makes more sense. My advice to you: DOCUMENT EVERYTHING from this point out. But I'm sure you know this already. Good luck, honey. I couldn't imagine going through this kind of horror with my daughter.
    Eviesmommy

    Answer by Eviesmommy at 8:09 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Get them checked out ASAP and document EVERYTHING that has changed about their behavior. DON'T let them go again.
    PhilsBabyMama

    Answer by PhilsBabyMama at 8:10 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Better safe then sorry IMO. Make sure you take them through all the proper channels/proffesionals. GL.
    ethans_momma06

    Answer by ethans_momma06 at 8:36 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I am so sorry you're going through this and your girls all I can do is pray for them. Start documenting like the previous posters said, but you have go to get those girls into counseling IMMEDIATELY!!! If that is what's going on, get a counselor on your side now. Oh my gosh I"m so sorry you're dealing with this. My heart goes out to you and your girls.
    marine_wife0520

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 8:41 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • My heart goes out to you. You absolutely need to have a doctor check them, and probably a social worker or psychologist. They know how to ask children questions in an open way that does plant an answer in their mind. So the info they get is generally a clearer truth. In other words rather than saying did someone touch you here or there, they might get a set of toy dolls and ask your girls to play house with them, then observe how the dolls interact with each other. You would need this type of evidence to have future visitations supervised. I understand court ordered visitations, and there is nothing you can do but prepare you daughters and teach them about good secrets vs bad secrets. (running out of room to explain, see tip # 5 on tips & advice link of website NaptimeNanny.com). Also teach them they can say no, don't touch me there, and people who love them will respect their wishes. Keep a diary of every thing important.
    NaptimeNanny

    Answer by NaptimeNanny at 9:54 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Take them to the er have them checked now. The sooner they are checked the better the chances of finding any thing out of place. Sign them up ith shrinks and get anything together you can. If this is going on you will need it all to get visitation stoped.
    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 10:12 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

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