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3 Bumps

My daughters, 21 year old BF wants to move in?

She's 20 and they've been dating 6 months. He's at the house all the time anyway. I love the boy. He doesn't speak to his parents who live 2 hours away. He lost his job and has nowhere else to go. My hubby is ok with it. I just worry about him... what if they don't work out? He has already gotten really attached to our family. He's in the Marine reserves and is going to be deployed in the spring.

 
knappkin

Asked by knappkin at 7:56 PM on Nov. 29, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 13 (1,026 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (37)
  • of course hubby don't mind so where is he sleeping ,do you have lock on your daughters bedroom if not i would get one
    real soon ,to tell the truth i real don't think good idea he should make up with his parents before he goes ,any thing can happen out there thats why they call it war and your daughter only know him for 6months if it was longer like two yrs great but for now no mom you need to get some sleep,or you have one eye open and one eye closed
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 12:24 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • If he's a good kid and it won't cause you any hardships, I'd say give the boy a home. If it doesn't work out between him and your daughter, then he can start looking for somewhere else to stay. But if you enjoy his company and you can make a deal with him to help out around the house in order to earn his keep, then I think you'd have a very grateful young man, especially if he knows he's got a place to come home to after deployment. I can't imagine not having people who cared about me waiting for me after being deployed.
    kittyhasclaws

    Answer by kittyhasclaws at 7:59 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • My thought on this is that if they are old enough to play house, they can find their own house to play it in.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 8:00 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • People, he doesn't need to live with her to get her pregnant! Duh!
    CarriePM

    Answer by CarriePM at 8:09 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • rolling on floorPardon me for saying..


     


    Oh, HELL NO!


     


    That wouldn't fly in my house.


     


     

    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 7:59 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Make sure they use birth control. Seriously. You know it can go either way, and adding a baby to the situation is really a hard thing for both young adults.

    You mentioned he does not speak to his parents. Doe you really know why? Remember, there are two (2) sides to the story. You are only hearing one of them.

    Good luck.
    AdrianaS

    Answer by AdrianaS at 8:00 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I say how you feel about being called grandmom pretty soon.... because allow this, and it's inevitable.
    marchma2b

    Answer by marchma2b at 8:04 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I guess it would depend on what the exact arrangmement would be. My BIL was living at his wife's house before they were married. BUT He shared a room in the basement with her younger brothers and her room was upstairs beside her parents room. They did this because her parents needed help with household things and also he needed a job and the one he was able to find was closer to their place and in an area with no bus service. Nothing ever happened, but then he was an RM too.
    If you're putting them in seperate areas or aren't concerned about what they're doing than I don't see that it's the end all of your existance. But he needs to understand he'd be pulling his own weight and whatever other rules you would impose on him or the both of him if he's living at your house.
    JadeRDragosani

    Answer by JadeRDragosani at 8:15 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • He has no job?? Why doesn't he go active duty instead of reserves??

    As for letting him move in, there would be a whole lot of rules first. Rent, no sharing a room til married, no parties, and others.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:33 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • A loser? Really? He's in Marine Reserves (which means he's gone through Marine bootcamp) and perhaps he had a good job that laid people off like so many jobs in this economy. Just because he lost his job doesn't man he's a loser.As far as not talking to his parents go, not everone has peachy relationships with their parents and if they don't that doesn't man the adult child did anything wrong. I don't talk to MY mom and I am 43 and it's not because she chose to not speak to me, I chose to cut HER out of my life becaue she's a crappy mom. He doesn't have a job RIGHT NOW, nowhere does the OP state that he doesn't plan to get a job or even how long ago he lost his job (maybe he lost it last week and he'ss looking for a new one). People here LOVE to jump to conclusions. He deploys, to a WAR ZONE, in April...THAT doesn't sound like a loser to me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:28 AM on Nov. 30, 2010