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Called it quits, will it feel worse?

I've been seeing this guy for a little over a month now. We were lovers a few years back but things happened and we moved on. He came back into my life just as my marriage was failing. I forgave him for what he did to me in the past and wanted to try round 2 with him. My marriage failed just waiting till everything is final. Hubby knows I was seeing someone and he is seeing someone too. Anyways, things didnt add up with the new guy. He was married but also said he was in the middle of a divorce. Hell his wife has been living in a different state the entire time we've been seeing each other. I lied to myself and ignore the signs that I should run. Ignored that he's stories didn't add up. He's wife was moving back to town tomorrow. Finally when I returned to my place and noticed all of his stuff gone I realized I've been played. I texted him called him a coward for not telling me in person. Called him a few other things too. You know what I didnt cry, sure it hurts like hell but I'm more mad at myself for trusting him again. I know I'm to blame for all of this. I know I'm actually better off without him. I almost feel like contacting his wife and telling her everything and sending some pics of us. I figured out they were never separated. I feel like an idiot. Maybe I shouldnt have jumped into a new relationship so soon after my marriage failed but it felt good with what he said and told me. I just worried that I will start feeling worse soon. I feel good right now, a little hurt but good. Has anyone ever felt good about a break up and then later it really hit them and it hurt even worse? I know it's over and I don't want him back ever.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:55 PM on Nov. 29, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • Stop blaming yourself for trusting someone who didn't deserve your trust. Place the blame where it belongs, he's a jerk, but that doesn't mean you're an idiot! No beating yourself up ok?! I think it's important to develop a healthy sense of anger towards the person who hurt us rather than internalizing it & I'm only going on about this because I do it so much myself. Most of my breakups feel like a relief at first, I feel free and glad to be rid of whoever caused me pain..then I go through a period of missing them where if I didn't know better I'd swear someone performed a lobotomy on me in my sleep & removed all my bad memories of that person, all I can think of is their sweet little ways and I forget all the bad stuff and start missing them sooo bad that sometimes I have been stupid enough to make the mistake of revisiting the relationship, just to be reminded all over again what an ass that person is.. don't be like me ok??
    chocolatluver

    Answer by chocolatluver at 10:17 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Be happy to be rid of him, he isn't worth your time, emotions,...... I would steer clear of him and should he think in future that he can make you believe his garbage again, then, grin as you tell him he is a waste of good air space.
    kingkongsmom

    Answer by kingkongsmom at 10:04 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Each break-up is different. I know for me I have gone through break-ups that turned my world upside down. My divorce, not so much,,I really was in a bad situation. Im thinking and hoping that what you will be feeling relief once you get over these original feelings of being played upon. It could have been so much worse....Pick yourself up and move on. I got together with an ex bf too. He said he had been looking for me for 20 yrs. Really? Ive worked in the same building that I was working in when we dated. lol,,kicked him to the curb ..good luck :)
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 10:02 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I was in a similar situation with a man. When I left I felt good too, I told him off and felt great about my decision. Sometimes I would think about the good times and feel lonely but once I realized that I had to go through the mourning period in order to really get over him everyday became better. Yeah it may hurt but it doesn't mean you have to be on the floor crying. You may feel hurt later, betrayed, stupid, sad but it's ok to have these feelings as long as you dont give in to them. Realize they are normal and you have every right to feel the way you do because you're a person. As for telling his wife, trust me you'll dig his own grave, you'll just be adding more drama onto yourself. Know is a time to feel good about your choice not to deal with that idiot again and move on. It'll hurt but not as much as it would if you stayed in a relationship with this man.

    Jenaiko01

    Answer by Jenaiko01 at 10:10 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

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