This question is for a friend who keeps asking my advice and I have no idea what to tell her. I'm not sure of the "rules" of adoption. Here's the situation. She knows a woman who is pregnant with her fifth child even though she had a tubal after her fourth. She's in no position to have another baby, and the child's father took off as soon as he heard she was pregnant. My friend has known this person for about five years, and seems to trust her and like her. Anywho, my friend, we'll call her Lesley because that's her name... she has tried to have a baby for six or so years with no luck. She has PCOS and her doctor had to do all this other stuff for pre-cervical cancer and a thick uterine lining before they could try fertility treatments...which they had hoped to do eventually. BUT...this woman who is pregnant called a few weeks ago and said that she had been praying and thinking since she found out she was pregnant, and that she wants Lesley to adopt her baby. She already spoke with a lawyer, and they tell me they have started proceedings, and she signed away her rights. They want to make it as if she was a surrogate and Lesley is the mother.
I gave all this background so I can ask the "rules" on this. She keeps asking me when she should announce they are having a baby. I have no idea. I know with pregnancy most people wait to tell some people until after the risk of miscarriage has passed, but what are the "rules" for adoption? She also is trying to decide when to buy things, when to have a shower, etc... Are there traditional "do it this month or this time" things like with pregnancy? When did any of your adoptive mothers make your big announcement?
Answer by suelo74 at 10:17 PM on Nov. 29, 2010
Answer by dancinintherain at 10:19 PM on Nov. 29, 2010
Answer by kingkongsmom at 10:42 PM on Nov. 29, 2010
Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Nov. 29, 2010
Answer by JLS2388 at 11:16 PM on Nov. 29, 2010
Answer by TwoBrownDogs at 11:38 PM on Nov. 29, 2010
Answer by doodlebopfan at 12:29 PM on Nov. 30, 2010
Answer by 2ndtimewish at 6:43 PM on Nov. 30, 2010