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2 Bumps

Is it right to invite someone to another person's house for the holidays?

I'm sure many of you know I really don't care for my mother in law. She has invited herself to our house for Christmas. Fine, I would rather stay home anyway and there is no way I'm getting a holiday without her. But, she is telling others in the family that she is not cooking at her house, but to drop by our house. This seems so incredibly rude to me, but I'm wondering if it's just because I did not grow up around extended family to see this as a child. Also, it seems really rude to me because we are in the middle of a renovation of our house and it is no where near finished. I didn't really want a big party in the middle of our construction zone, but she never even asked if she could invite people, she just did.


Asked by scout_mom at 10:19 PM on Nov. 29, 2010 in Holidays

Level 41 (125,190 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • It doesn't really matter what your MIL and 'that side of the family' is used to; you are now a part of the family, and entitled to have your preferences taken into consideration -- ESPECIALLY when it comes to what's going to happen in YOUR home.

    Perhaps you can find a way to respectfully let her know that you are not comfortable with her inviting others to your home
    1. while it is under renovation
    2. when you haven't been consulted

    Guests, whether they are family or not, should respect their hosts.

    BTW - What does Her Son have to say about all of this? Will he support you in trying to rein in his mom?

    Answer by ss_mom at 3:23 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Nope, she is wrong.

    Answer by dancinintherain at 10:20 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • She is definitely just rude cause even in a big family that is Not acceptable.

    Answer by kingkongsmom at 10:22 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • She should of talked to you first. It is rude she wouldn't want you inviting people over with out her permission.

    Answer by suelo74 at 10:22 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Yeah that is way rude to just invite people to your house without discussing with you first. Before we decided to have Thanksgiving at our house, I was going to ask DH's cousin (who was also having it) if it were ok if I brought my mom & stepdad. I would never just bring them over or invite my whole side without discussing with them!! I had a friend go thru this last year for a fall party with some church friends. Someone in choir with her started inviting people she didn't even know!! WTF???

    Answer by MamaLisa1976 at 10:24 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Actually in my family we do that all the times and it's fine, but seeing that you and your MIL arent that cool it does seem a little rude that she would do that without asking. I could underdstand if you all were close. She doens't seem to care about your feelings.

    Answer by Jenaiko01 at 10:25 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • yes thats rude

    Answer by meagan678 at 10:26 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Very rude and inconsiderate.


    Answer by shanlaree at 10:28 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • That is INCREDIBLY rude. You only invite people to someone else's house if you ASK the host first if it is ok. I would definitely say something to her.

    Answer by FluffyMamaBunny at 10:39 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • That is definitely rude, I dont care how you grew up. ESPECIALLY with the reconstruction going on. I would call her and tell her exactly what you put on here (about not wanting a big gathering etc), and that you would be more than happy to call those she has already invited and explain the situation to them. Its YOUR house, not hers.

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 1:04 AM on Nov. 30, 2010