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2 Bumps

For those of you that have ever lost a child..

My second born child died of a rare cancer about 11 years ago. She was born right after Christmas in 1995. My oldest son and I get really emotional around this time of year because it brings us back to those times spent in the hospital with her fighting for her life. She lost her battle in 1999 at almost 3 and a half years old. Everyone always says I was blessed with a big, healthy family, and yes I am truly blessed. No doubt about that.. But how do you cope with a lost love one around the holidays? I've done it for many years and I feel like I've been in a fog and I don't know how I did it. I miss her so much. And so does my son. My husband tries not to show emotion about it. We don't really talk about her because we don't want to confuse the little ones about it and don't want them to ask a bunch of questions. Plus, they're probably too young to understand.. It's too hard to even think about.

Anyways, my point is: How are those of you who have lost a child coping with it this holiday season? Bump this if you've been in my situation and/or lost a child.

Answer Question
 
KileighR

Asked by KileighR at 12:38 AM on Nov. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 10 (380 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • I never have, but I lost two brothers when I was a little girl. Now that I'm a mother, I can't imagine how to cope with that. I'm so sorry for your loss! Hang in there!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 12:54 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Yes I had a DD killed 7 yrs ago and it still hurts very much esp. at the Holiday, her B'Day is Dec 6 on top of that. We talk about her all the time, because that's how we keep her alive in our hearts. She left an 18mo old son, and we intend to have him remember her as a person as much as we can.Try seeking out Compassionate Friends a Support Group for families w/deceased children it's a National Group. They did teach me 1 thing in particular, men & women grieve differently so your husband is dealing w/his grief the way it suits him, and also, that we all grieve at our own pace, and we NEVER get over the death of a child. If you like you can send a PM to me any time and we can chat. Try to do the best you can, we can only do 1 day at a time, and do keep your DD alive in your heart always. I'm sorry for your loss.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 12:56 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • when I was 16 I got pregnant with my first born and at the end of my pregnancy my Dr wanted me to get induced to prevent any complications but what ended up happening was a placental abrubtion which ended in an emergency c section. My son died 2 days later. Even though I didn't see him grow for 3 yrs it still hurts every year around the anniversary November 1 his bday and November 3rd the day he left us. Its been 9 yrs and 4 kids later and still every yr around the holidays I think about him and how it would be if he were still here opening gifts and playing games with his little brothers. God bless u and ur family during this time and I hope u get through this season as well as possible
    lovelyli217

    Answer by lovelyli217 at 1:02 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

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