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2 Bumps

Needing help on half-sibling uniting

My daughter is 4 years old, her father and I are recently divorced. During our marriage I found out he had a son prior to our relationship(he's now 19 years old). He wasnt involved at all with his son, his excuse was he was in the military. I want my daughter to know she has a half-brother since i knew how hard it was for my mom to discover in her 30's she had a lot of half siblings. I don't want her father to get upset with me and take it out on his relationship with her. I've contemplated calling his mother and talking about it. They live in another state across the country so meeting will be difficult. I don't know what to do though. Any advice would be great advice. Her father is in her life but his lies scare me with her development. I try not to hold grudges, but his lies aren't little....the fact that he denied ever being married, then I find out I'm wife #6. He said he had no children then NC wants child support. He obviously has no respect for himself or women. I really need some advice on how to handle the whole situation. Thanks ladies

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proudmama101906

Asked by proudmama101906 at 1:16 AM on Nov. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 9 (304 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • Being she's 4, I'm not sure what advice to give. If she were older I would say have her write letters to her brother and chat on the phone... Just keep the like of communication open, or open it as the case may be. Like your daughter I have half siblings which I never knew, I met one of them about 5 years back and although we don't see each other, we talk online a good bit. We're still kinda feeling each other out, but we're a lot alike. With such a huge age gap and so far between them that gets complicated. May be it would be good for you and the mother to talk, see if the boy is even interested, and exchange addresses. If you can get pictures of him it would help to show her who he is and explain that he is her brother. Even if they don't get close it will be good for her to know he exists.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:20 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • thank you for your advice I appreciate it. I found him on myspace and its amazing how much they look alike...almost scary in fact. I will definately try to contact his mother. I just don't know if I should tell my ex that Im planning on contacting them
    proudmama101906

    Comment by proudmama101906 (original poster) at 1:25 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Siblings are still siblings. They will fight and argue like all children do.

    I didn't get along with my half brother until I became an adult.

    My mom didn't like her real brother until she was about 38.
    AbsoluteSelf

    Answer by AbsoluteSelf at 4:24 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

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