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my husband and i have been married for 7 yrs, seperated for 5 1/2(go figure), he is facing some drug addiction problems and i feel as though it is my duty to help him considering we have a child together. In gods eyes is it my duty?

I am looking for a christian based answer. We seperated years ago based on his addictions and my cheating habits. I can forget the past and forgive with no problem as God intends for us to do. I dont want my daughter to lose her daddy, he is a good dad and a great person at heart. i wish no harm to him and want to live my life with him happily as a fresh start. Is this a good idea or am i just too nieve? i feel like i already know the answer to this problem, God is whispering it in my heart, but i just need some real voices on the matter please help.

 
emmasmom04

Asked by emmasmom04 at 7:54 AM on Nov. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (20 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • The ONLY person that can help your husband with his addictions, is HIM. HE has to want to be rid of his addicitons or no one or nothing is going to change that. It is your job to make sure your kids are safe and healthy. Exposing your children to their father's drug addiction can cause them to use and become addicted. IF your husband has the drugs in the house, you can be charged also (if a drug bust occurs or if CPS is called). IT doesn't matter if you are Christian or not, only the drug addict can fix themselves. God would not want you and your children to live with someone who cannot help himself and get clean. It is NOT something a child needs to be exposed to, it is a horrific disease and the children WILL notice what is going on.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:07 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • I believe that God requires that we do everything we can to preserve the marriage and the family. That being said, it is not always an easy thing to do. There are several good books I could recommend to you. One is BOUNDARIES IN MARRIAGE by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. Another is THIS MOMENTARY MARRIAGE by John Piper. There are many, many others, but these will get you started. Also, you will need the encouragement of someone who is very strong in the faith to help you through what lies ahead. I would recommend a pastor or a church-based counselor for yourself and for your husband, if he will attend. Many churches offer these services free of charge, so call around and see what is available in your area.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:02 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Sorry, you're looking for a christian based answer, but you yourself have completely gone aganist christianity by commiting adultry. So what makes you want to lean more towards God when helping your husband, but you couldn't keep God in your marriage? I'm confused.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:14 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Pray about it, you will get your answer.

    Since you are married to him, it seems to me that there is an obligation, but the Lord wouldn't want you and your child to be harmed.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:59 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • You're blind. Why would you even want your daughter around someone who has a drug addiction? I personally, wouldn't even want to put my child in that situation.Between you cheating and him doing drugs, you both need helps, seriously. I don't know what else to tell you but you need help, period.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:01 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • i don't care how christian anyone is...nobody here can claim to see through "gods" eyes.

    You can't help anyone who won't help themselves. He has to want to be helped and he has to take the steps.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:14 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • God gave you free will and common sense for a reason, no need to check every step in your Bible to do what is right, follow your vows, remember for better or for worse, in sickness and in health?????
    older

    Answer by older at 8:17 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • oooh! You said cheating HABITS. That's what we are jumping on. . .Looks like you made it sound worse than it is.
    sunshine58103

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 8:31 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Absolutely NOT your duty.. You guys are separated. & just because you have a child together doesn't mean you have to put your life on hold just to help him with his mess ups!
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 9:17 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • I am not religious. But I have been married twice and am still married to my second. I have kids with both. I would do anything for either of these men. At one time I loved them so much to commit to them and have kids. They are my coparents. I love my children so much and want them to feel cared for by both parents. So I support my first. I encourage him and I care for him. It is a great lesson for my boys to see us get along. If he had issues I would try to help him as much as I could. I would not allow him to hurt me or use me. I would however get him to the right places to help him live up to his best potential.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 9:30 AM on Nov. 30, 2010