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2, almost 3 year old VERY persistent and repeating until she gets her way

I have a 2 (will be 3 in a week) year old who whines and repeats herself until she gets what she wants. Ex. if she wants to go "bye bye" she will continue whining saying "I want to go bye bye" over and over until I finally get tired of it, and put her in her bed for time out, but when she gets up she will start asking again. Or continue asking for a drink, or something to eat, etc. While she is in time out, she will continue to ask "can I get up mom". It's a non stop battle of repeating what ever it is she wants, and I do not know how to break her of this. If you don't get what she is whining about, she will begin to throw a tantrum (where she also goes in time out, but it isn't seeming to help out the problem since it is still going on). I also have a 7 year old boy, who is ADHD, and while he is doing "better" he is starting to lie about things, and when I get on to him, or try to talk to him about something he was doing that was wrong - he hides his face because he starts laughing (which irritates me VERY bad!). Any suggestions on how to handle these problems? I feel like I am at my whits end..... Thanks in advance.

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Asked by momofboygirl2 at 10:15 AM on Nov. 30, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I send DD to bed when she tries to pull this crap. And as hard as it is ignore it. It took DD about a day and a half before she realized I wasn't going to deal with it anymore.

    Answer by Nameismommy at 10:21 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Ignor it.

    She is smart & realizes that she can get what she wants by being totally annoying about it. You taught her how to do that.

    The only way to stop this is to ignor it. If you have to put on headphones while she is in time out, then do it. Re-teach her. She needs to learn that being annoying will NOT get her what she wants.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:22 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Should I leave her in time out until she stops crying before the time starts? or should I count the "3 minute time out" while she is whining and crying? Then when she gets out of time out, should I give her what it was she needed?

    Comment by momofboygirl2 (original poster) at 10:24 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Have you tried answering her sooner? If she is hungry or thirsty, respond quickly. If she just wants to go bye bye or wants a toy at the store, tell her no. When she starts whining, pretend that you cannot hear her. Tell her that you have got very strange ears and that your ears only hear her when she uses her big girl voice. If she continues whining or throws a tantrum, time out. Tell her that everry time she talks, time out starts over. Be very consistent. Do not let up on this for at least a month. Sometimes it takes that long for a child to realize that no matter what, mom is going to stick to her guns. Good luck, momma!

    Answer by A.Perry at 10:26 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • My daughter gets stuck on "repeat" too. I keep reminding her I can't answer her if she doesn't give me the chance. And sometimes to let her know how annoying it is, I do it back to her. Probably not the most mature way of handling it but it does stop her for awhile.
    "Mom, where are we going?" x 20
    "To the store, Madd." x20
    Evil glare from the child.

    Answer by dmdblleb at 10:27 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Hi. I would suggest that you stop giving in. Just turn a deaf ear to it. You don't need to answer her. Redirect her attention to something else. Spend some one-on-one time with her doing a learning activity. Or baking. Or creating. Remind her that you're the mom, so you make the schedule. Find ways to make her feel secure that her needs will be met, and that you can do so without her reminders.
    Sometimes if we're spending too much time on the internet or phone, kids will do these things just to get our attention. They'd rather be yelled at than ignored. So spend some positive time with her. Set aside a time of day each day that you'll do a project or read a story, and let her know that is her time. Not the rest of the day. Do the same for your son.

    Answer by RocketMom14kids at 11:08 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • IF you're giving in - don't. What you're teaching her is her persistent pays off so why should she stop? When you can, give her a time frame. "I want to go bye-bye" should be answered with "We will leave -- when the clock says three, zero, zero / when I find the ice cream which is the last thing shopping list / some other parameter she can understand" Give her time examples in examples she can understand "We are going to eat dinner in one hour which is about the same amount of time it takes you to watch two episodes of Dora." Or "I will get you a drink when I finish this email. While you wait, how about you hop on one foot 5 times, spin around, jump up in the air, then sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. By the time you finish all that, I'll be ready to help you."

    I do give silly answers too. When I hear for nth time "Where are we going?" I answer "We're going to Timbuktu." They laugh and get distracted making goofy stories.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 1:14 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Re your son: When you get on him - what does that mean? Is it a lecture? Is it short and to the point? Is there a realistic response to his actions? I know that my biggest struggle as a parent is NOT getting into rant and lecture mode when the kids have pushed too far. They tune it out and start finding new ways to amuse themselves. . . sometimes it's to find the humor in what is being said *at* them by then. Be clear. Be direct. Be as to the point as possible and then move on. Give natural consequences. If he's laughing while you're talking. Stop. Don't yell. Get your temper under control and then calmly say "excuse me, that is incredibly disrespectful. I expect you to take this seriously and if you can't, we can discuss an appropriate punishment to help you learn to" Keep in mind that sometimes kids (and adults!) are giggling as a nervous outlet. Keeping yourself calm and direct may help him too.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 1:18 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

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