Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is anyone in my situation?

my husband finished police academy six months ago. We've made plans to have another baby, but for some reason in back of my head theirs always this bad thought something could happen while he's on duty... What can i do to take these thoughts out of my head?

Answer Question

Asked by Cynthia90278 at 5:26 PM on Nov. 5, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • You two are just gonna have to talk about it or get counseling. Have him call you at certain times of the day to reassure that things are ok and that talk about how his day is going. Unfortunately with a career like that its never guarenteed that hes gonna come home at night. Im sorry to sound so blunt but its a sad truth. Maybe if you cant get things out of your head he could consider desk work. Its always an option. GL My bf is not a cop but I can only imagine your fear.

    Answer by Steph319 at 5:30 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • You can't... I'm sorry to say but it's a real possibility... My husband is an EMT in a bad area of town, there is always that possibility. We have a two year old and one on the way... I just pray every day for his safety and let it rest in God's hands, i trust God to bring him home. There is nothing else you really can do.

    Answer by AshJoe05 at 5:54 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • You don't have to have a hazardous occupation to risk death. All you have to do is drive a car. My mother was killed in a car accident. If you get down to it, he's not taking any more risks than anyone else. If something were to happen, you would be taken care of, but I know that's not much consolation. You have to look at it as life. You could go before him. You just have to prepare for it with life insurance, etc.

    Answer by rhope4 at 6:16 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • I worry about this with my husband every day, and he's not a cop. ANYTHING could happen to take him away from me.

    Fortunately, I see having his baby as a great coping mechanism. IF the unthinkable were to happen, I'd still have a part of him with me, and his spirit could live on through his children.

    It's a helpless feeling situation, but there is one thing you can do to help (other than what I said above): make sure you're prepared financially, should something happen to either of you. Then you just have the emotional stuff to worry about, and not the other stuff.

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 6:34 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Quoting: "he's not taking any more risks than anyone else. "

    Are you kidding me? Of course he is at greater risk. If he wasn't he wouldn't have a side arm and a shotgun in the cruiser.

    To the O.P. it takes time. You know there are very real risks for him. Just as wives of firefighters, EMT's and active duty military have to. First you make sure he never, and I mean NEVER walks out the door with angry, ugly words between you. You know he is well trained. He is doing a job he loves and is protecting the innocent. You wake up every day and say a prayer, you go to bed and do the same. You will learn to live with it to some degree. It would be important for him to have a routine..after his shift...he calls on his way home. cont'd

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 6:55 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • If he's going to knowingly be late..he calls. He needs a buddy on the force willing to make a call for him in cases where he just can't get to a phone but is okay. Love him and support him. I know it's hard. I am the daughter, wife and mother of Sailors, soldiers and firefighter. I know what it's like to worry whether or not they'll walk back through the door.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 6:55 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.