Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

i'm so hurt and confused?????

almost 3 weeks ago i found out my boyfriend / fiance of 14 yrs and father of my 2 kids,has been having a secret friendship with a older women .I talked to her and she agrees with him that their just friends, and when I found out this info by goggling info on line and making some phone calls i confronted him with what i knew and he admitted to everything but left us to stay w/ a friend. I don't understand why he's so mad that i found out the truth to the point where he felt he had to leave his family . He comes over and spends his days with us until 10 pm after he gets out of work and then leaves. am i wrong for asking him why did you leave us when all i did was find out the truth to your lies. when i brought this up he told me I have balls and cut our phone conversation short. I'm so confused, why is he doing this to us? He tells me he loves me and wants things to work out but he won't even talk to me about anything that has to do with why he left?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Nov. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Mad? I would expect him to be embarrassed.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:59 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Sounds like he is being defensive and crazy. There might be something deeper going on, that you may never know because he won't talk about it. You may just have to move on and get child support.

    Sorry :(
    AbsoluteSelf

    Answer by AbsoluteSelf at 3:00 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • men are complicated and they twist things around, my husband never left me but we have something similar going on n i had to tell him he cant go out n spent every day out there cos he has a family to think about he had to cut it down cos he knew i'd had enough n was ready to leave, i still dont trust him
    angelbaby1323

    Answer by angelbaby1323 at 3:02 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Wow!...im sorry but he is an ass....hes trying to blame it on you by manipulating you...i know he is the father of your children but maybe you should ignore the asshole(*Sorry) and make him realize that HE did this....it shouldnt be you trying to get ahold of him.....stay strong...*You only getting upset with him is only making him feel like the one in control...time to switch it up ! :)
    kmscsj

    Answer by kmscsj at 3:03 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • what a freaking JERK! he is the one that did it and u must have felt someting was wrong to dig and find answers....its not your falult and he is a jerk for leaving his kids and you......does he plan on coming back?.....he needs to talk to you so you two can find out what is going to happen and why he did what he has done.....ive been in ur shoes is sucks ass but we made it work out we have two kids and one on the way...it takes time and u will be angry sad and pissed off but if he wants it to work out you both have to make it work and when one of u has something to talk about talk about it dont let the anger build up into a fight......im sorry u have to go through this it sucks but it can be worked out....my guess is that he is mad that you found out about it cuz now it has to stop.....my man is on a very short string i still have trust issues with him and he knows that and he respects that and dont go out unless im with him..
    mama2my2boys

    Answer by mama2my2boys at 3:03 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • yea that is very selfish and childish of him. i don't think it's so much that he is mad but that he was caught and now he feels emasculated by it. his own doing if you ask me but still enough for him to act like a child about it. just leave it be. after awhile he'll get tired of it all and move back home. why talk about it anymore. when you stop prying him to do so i'm sure he will come home again.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 3:05 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • It sounds like he is being defensive, and Im sorry he is being so childish about this!! It seems as though he is getting mad at you for finding out what he did, to try to push off some of the responsibility because he got caught. I know it is hard because he is the father of your children, but you and your children do not deserve to be treated this way. Good Luck to you, I hope it all works out for you and your family! Keep your head up Anon!
    TsMommy428

    Answer by TsMommy428 at 3:15 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • 14 years as a boyfriend and fiance......if he had wanted to marry you, he would have by now. He's keeping you for the sex and using the other lady for the companionship. Wise up and kick him to the curb.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 3:23 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • twinsplus2more , I would agree with you but we really don't even have a sex life any more
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:41 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • He's upset because you didn't fall victim to his lies. He wanted you to trust what he told you and when you had the nerve to find out the truth, he got upset about it, right along with knowing he was wrong for lying to you....If the two of you no longer have a sex life together, wouldn't you suspect that he wanted or was getting sex somewhere else? But I will not pry and add my two cents anymore...good luck...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:42 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN