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Son got girl pregnant :S

My son has just turned 14 and came home today looking really sheepish and then broke down, turns out he got a girl pregnant and she's also 14. I don't know how to react to him. And he said that she's refusing to tell her parents. I didn't even know that he'd got a girlfriend or anything along those lines. Should I tell her parents or just talk to her and encourage her to? And how should I reprimand my son, or should I do otherwise? Thanks.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:36 PM on Nov. 5, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (19)
  • Truth is, reprimanding your son is a little late now. If this isn't punishment enough then I don't know what is. I think that you should sit down with the girlfriend and talk to her and inform her that she must tell her parents. She can't hide it forever. Most importantly, everyone needs to be supportive and understanding. I'm sure these kids realize now that they messed up. It can't be undone, so move forward and be supportive. GL
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 5:39 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Def talk to her. It may help to have someone to talk to. Shes still a minor and like Thedive said, she cant hide it forever. So abortion is not an option. She needs to tell her parents and maybe when you talk to her you could assure her that you'll be there when its discussed. Sadly enough at 14 your son is going to have to start acting like a man. He was a "man" by having sex and now its you and your husbands job to teach him how to be a father. Im sorry you're going through this. I could never imagine being in your situation and I wish you the best of luck.
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 5:49 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • By saying that abortion is not an option, I meant if she didnt tell her parents. How would you feel if her parents forced her to abort? Just curious
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 5:51 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • I agree with the above 2 posters. Good luck and I hope everything works out for everyone
    bigtrucksgirl

    Answer by bigtrucksgirl at 5:56 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • I honestly don't know, if it was them forcing her I would have problem with it to be honest. Because then that is not her decision. But I believe it's up to the parents to decide what to do, no-one else. And I'd definitely support her if she wanted to keep it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:56 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Let her know that she has that support. As a minor she really doesnt have a say even though its her body. Maybe talking to her parents would really help. Let them know that you'll be there to help out. Especially considering they are too young to work. Thats the hard part. Financially its your responsibility for a little while :(
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 5:59 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • And her parents responsibility of course
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 6:01 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • She def needs someone to talk to considering there are some pretty F***** up places that would do an abortion for a minor. And that could be VERY dangerous
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 6:02 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • My son just got in contact with her and she's coming round in a little while for dinner and a chat. I'm not sure if she knows that involves me.. Oh gosh I'm pretty nervous now! I feel like I scared small child, not a mom of 4!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • My son got his g/f pregnant. They weren't 14...but I've been there. Talk to them both. Confirm the pregnancy. Tell them they must tell her parents. Offer to accompany them if that is something you could do. If they refuse let them know they MUST know and you will tell them if need be. There are a lot of big decisions to be made in the near future. In some states a 14 yr old can't even consent /or refuse to anything regarding a pregnancy, including a pelvic exam. Do a search for the laws of your state and pregnant minors. Punishing them is pointless. It is done and their lives are altered regardless of what they choose to do at this point. Good Luck. If you need to talk PM me.

    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 6:39 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

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