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I'm torn between having another baby now or waiting until I finish my college degree.

My DH and I want another baby NOW. It's KILLING me because I want to be pregnant so bad. Everyone I know is having babies and every single time someone else has a baby or says they are pregnant my heart sinks a little because I wish it was me.

We have a 3 year old and a 1.5 year old. I'm currently in school finishing up my pre-recs for nursing school and I'm supposed to start nurisng school next spring. If we have a baby that would be pushed out by at least a year.

I want to start my career and I want to have a paycheck. Plus I plan to get my masters and someday I would like to go to midwifery school to be a CNM so finishing nursing school would get me that much closer to my dream but IDK....

I'm completely torn here! I'm afraid that if I start nursing school the "baby fever" will be so bad that I won't want to finish and I'm afraid if I have a baby now that I'll never finish because I'll have 3 kids.

Anyone been in this situation? What did you do?

**By the way money isn't a issue as far as having a baby is concerned so I don't feel the need to hurry and finish school so we can survive or anything like that.

Also my DH wants a baby BIG TIME and I think it would kill him if I said I wanted to wait.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Nov. 30, 2010 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (5)
  • You are going to have to decide which one comes first --for real, not 'oh, my family is always first' lip service.

    You actually have to decide which one you are going to put off (you can put off both, if you're looking for a third option) because stewing about it and flip-flopping between the two isn't going to go away if you can't make up your mind.

    If you decide to have a bigger family, you're putting off school (and a nursing career) by more than a year. If you put off having a bigger family, you're risking your fertility diminishing more than you expect, as well as merely supposing that you can later afford the income-free year off plus the cost of the pregnancy and delivery care...

    I am curious: what do you want a baby for? So someone else can take care of it and you can go do 'real' work? You already have 2 kids you're not with most of the their waking days...what's the draw?

    Answer by LindaClement at 3:06 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • I'm in Law School with 3 kids and it is so difficult. There are never enough hours in a day to get everything completed and I have pretty good grades, but know they would be better if I wasn't constantly taking care of the kids. It's a big job. If I had known how hard it was going to be, I would have finished college before I had my first! And your other two are still young yet which makes it even more challenging. Personally, I would wait.

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 3:07 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Waiting sounds like the right thing to do. However, if you wait then start trying, what if it takes 2 or more years to get pregnant. Some women wait and find out they waited too long. It's a hard decision to make. You will always be able to go to nursing school, especially when all 3 kids are in school.

    good luck!

    Answer by Karkie22 at 3:53 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • LindaClement...

    What the HELL are you talking about?!?!?!?

    I am a SAHM you idiot. I am taking all of my classes online right now. I am HAPPILY with my kids 24 hours a day.

    That's part of the reason that I will have to put school off for more than a year because I will want to stay home with the baby for AT LEAST one year.

    When the HELL did I say I wanted to finish school so I could do "real work"?!?!?!? HUH? Oh that's right...I didn't! My kiddos that I currently have will be in school by the time I'm done and the baby will be at least a toddler. I will be applying at hospitals which do 7a to 7p shifts 3 days a week. I can still be with the baby as much as possible.

    It amazes me that you took the little amount of info I gave and decided you know what my life is like...what an idiot!

    Thank you everyone else for your opinions and answers. Thank you for not acting like jackasses!


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:01 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • She must be having a bad day.

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 6:36 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

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