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Who sets the boundries of the sex talk?

My son who is 19 (away at college) currently is uncomfortable with the sex talk, I mean you know more than education talk. The be safe and such talking.
My daughter who is 18 is fine with me talking to her we discuss sex fairly regularly.
So as you can see in my house the kid dictates the tone for this conversation.
Who dictates this conversation in your household.

Answer Question
 
mmmegan38

Asked by mmmegan38 at 6:14 PM on Nov. 30, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 29 (39,651 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • With my 19 year old son, he has to listen if I have something to say, but he generally will NOT get into a conversation about sex with me.
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 6:18 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • My mom used open ended questions. Then she made me ask her questions. Not that it makes it personall but you should have him text you the questions it makes it less personall ya know?
    Geusheez

    Answer by Geusheez at 6:19 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • In our house I'd say we both do. I probably initiate most conversations, but my boys are pretty comfortable talking about it with me. Even though it's never been a real comfortable topic for me, I've been open and started talking to them about sex, drugs, smoking, alcohol, etc., since they were old enough to ask questions, or when I saw an opportunity to discuss these things. They are 19, 21 & 28, and none of them are shy about it, but they are all respectful. My oldest and I really don't talk much about that anymore, but I think we're past those talks at his age.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 6:25 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • i have 4 boys and one daughter,now i can talk to my daughter about anything yes we talk about sex
    where the boys are 30,26,25,and17yrs old it's like lalalalala they don't want to hear or let alone that we no anything about sex
    and talk about sex or where still geting sex from their dad,as long as we raise our kids with morals he will be great to other girls ,they learn this from their fathers ,so he might joke around with his friends but in the long run your son now's about sex ,and yes i think his sister tells them alot ,so stop worrying mom you done great job he now's all about
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 7:11 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • me and my mom talk about it all the time lol but her and my brother don't so much
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 7:13 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • well, your MOM & he is a boy. It is natural that he won't talk to you. Does he have a Dad????
    NicolesMommy

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 12:24 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Because my husband worked a lot of hours when our sons were younger I have always been the one that they come to talk to though as they have gotten older they do talk to their dad as well. They aren't shy talking about certain things. Obviously we don't discuss positions or anything personal but, for instance, our recently divorced 24yo son has met a girl and because of recent possibly related deaths of young girls in our county who left work at late hours he chose to wait for this girl at her place of business (she's a bar tender) to make sure she made it home safe. He was going to take a friend and his dad and I told him that it would probably be better to go alone, because well quite frankly he needs to get back, no pun intended, on the horse again after the crap he endured with his abusive ex. And then his dad reminded him to be safe and he said no problem, he has condoms. He wasn't embarrassed.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • When the girlies were little we started with the SEX talks on their age level so when they were old enough to need to talk they already knew they could ask us anything and we would tell them and not pass judgement

    mamak57

    Answer by mamak57 at 6:54 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I did!
    older

    Answer by older at 9:24 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • By the time they're 18 & 19, if you didn't have the talks when they were little, it's too late to start now. If you did have the talks, then you've done your job. It sounds like your son wants some privacy. Most boys do not want to talk to their mother about sex. Your daughter feels comfortable talking to you, and that's good. You might be able to talk to him about being responsible and saying you trust him (not being explicit) to do the right thing. Sometimes it's better to learn to listen. My boys will talk when I ask something in general...then I don't say another word. I just wait till the silence gets to him, and he starts talking.
    SweetLuci

    Answer by SweetLuci at 11:48 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

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