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Do you think that some people just had money and time to burn?

I want to ask this question every time I see someone post that they are interested in adopting a infant, toddler or baby under 3 from foster care.

If adopting a baby was so easy, why would so many couples spend their life savings and years trying to adopt a baby from an agency, via private adoption or international adoption.

Yes, you can get "lucky" and adopt a baby from foster care but the purpose of foster care is not to provide babies for couples, it is to reunite the baby with the bparents and then, and only then, if the bparent cant get their act together, they may (or may not) be eligible for adoption. It often takes several years. The children who are free for adoption in most states are not healthy tiny little toddlers, sadly.

 
2ndtimewish

Asked by 2ndtimewish at 7:22 PM on Nov. 30, 2010 in Adoption

Level 16 (2,683 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • To answer your question, no, I do not believe that people who adopt through a DIA do so because they have time and money to burn. I believe that people who adopt through DIA do so because they want a newborn, not an older child. Would you agree though that if someone has limited means and time they may have to adopt from foster care, rather that do DIA? I think adopting is rarely easy, no matter how you do it.

    Adoption does create families sometimes, but I do not believe that is the purpose for which it was originally intended. Adoption helps to create families, but, it also can break up families. Neither should it be its purpose. You are saying that the FC system is not a system that PAPS get to dictate what they want. Is adoption such a system? I guess it is, but, should it be?
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 10:20 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • I am a birth mother, and my child was a healthy child who was put up for adoption. Her parent's were not people who just, "Had money to blow." That's a horrible assumption for you to make about anyone. People spend their life savings adopting children because they can't have them naturally and want nothing more than having a child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:39 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • "Yes, you can get "lucky" and adopt a baby from foster care but the purpose of foster care is not to provide babies for couples, it is to reunite the baby with the bparents and then, and only then, if the bparent cant get their act together, they may (or may not) be eligible for adoption".

    I know you understand this, but, I think it needs to be said too that the purpose of adoption is not to provide babies for couples either. Although some agencies seem to think that is the case, adoption's main purpose should be to find families for children who need them.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 9:32 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • A PAP gets to "dictate' what they want because they are putting out the money. Money talks so if they want a new born baby that's what they get. Agencies do whatever they can to provide the product for the money. Agencies are in the business of getting new born babies for people who will pay the fees. You can pretend in your mind if you like that the purpose of adoption is to create a family by providing a home for a baby that needs one but that is NOT the business agencies are in. They are in the business of finding babies for paying customers.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • The real point of adoption is providing a family for a baby NOT a baby for people who want one. So I guess you could just assume people who spend all that money & time adopting from a private agency are just selfish with fulfilling their own desires to parent.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Awww that's sad. I was a adopted.
    sweetpea1217

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 7:23 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • even worse is the harder to place they are, the more affordable the adoption. and the kiddos who are profoundly disabled and NOT cute cuddly babies have funding and grants up the wazooo. IMO the whole foster and adoption system is a hot mess
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 7:24 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Are you kidding me?

    Do know what the foster care system is like? It can be very trying for foster parents and their families. Foster care adoption is an affordable option for couples who "don't have money to blow."

    Most people don't go into foster care with the assumption they will adopt the first child that comes into their home.

    That being said my mom was a foster mom and she had several friends who adopted through the foster care system. In our area and in our experience between 50 and 60% of the children that come through your home are eligiable for adoption.

    Usually by the time the child is pulled out of the parents home they parents have already failed to go to court mandated parenting classes, have been repeat offenders and have shown a royal inability to parent. Often time foster care is the last stop unless someone adopts.

    You are sadly misinformed on this subject!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:55 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • I don't know what "easy" entitles. Adopting through the foster care system and an adoption agency is two completely different types of adoptions. Emotionally, I mean. Foster care children are a lot more "damaged" (don't take that wrong) than a child who's been adopted at birth. Foster children go through families that abuse them, have given up on them, have been through drug addicts. Foster children have a harder time at succeding in anything through life because of their tramatic experiences growing up. If I had to pick, it'd be hard, but I think I would want to adopt through the foster care system ONLY to show those poor kids that they can have a "normal" life with the right family. To show them that parents CAN love and their life CAN be changed and turned around. You make a bigger impact on a child like that than a child you would adopt from birth through an agency. Maybe you should see the BIGGER picture.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:58 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Please, don't post on a topic you know nothing about.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:00 PM on Nov. 30, 2010