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2 Bumps

my 3yr old is jealous of my boyfriend of 2 yrs.

so ive been w my guy for 2+ yrs he has an 8 yr old and hes a great guy. at first i thought my kiddo was intimidated by him because hes so tall and big. her dad and i have been split up for 3 yrs so she never saw us together and her dad is now gay so she sees him w men. so my guy is also the most masculine guy shes ever met. he tries to play with her but she thinks hes being mean. or he will say something to her and she makes faces at him. she tells me that im her mommy and that "rodney" has his daddy. i tell her she has to share mommy that i love her and my bf and that he loves her but she still mean to him. shes ok when im not w them but as soon as i get home she will want a kiss if he kisses me or if he hugs me she wants a hug which i do give her and i try to tell her to go to him when she needs help with things to build her trust. but what else can i do. when she was younger she acted mostly intimidated by his size and recently is when shes been acting jealous.

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e_dan

Asked by e_dan at 8:05 PM on Nov. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (18 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • So you two have been together sense she has been 1 year old and she has been doing this ever sense then? I do not think it is a jelousy thing. I thin it is a stage she is going through.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:11 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • I'm guessing she is not jealous of your boyfriend, but rather the time you spend with your boyfriend. That is totally normal for a child of her age. They are your children, so yes, they want your undivided attention. It's a human trait for us all to want our mother's undivided attention. It's up to our mothers to make us feel secure and not need this undivided attention.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 8:17 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • I would tell him mommy still loves you and he isnt your daddy so dont worry and try to give him attention. or wait until he goes to sleep at nigh before you invite anyboddy over.
    briannaann

    Answer by briannaann at 8:20 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • put your DD first and the #1 priority in your life cause it is
    MELRN

    Answer by MELRN at 8:21 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • sounds like your kiddo is just being a 3 yr old. trust me if this wasnt going on, it would be something else that he is wanting to control. it will fade, just be loving
    Tonesgirl

    Answer by Tonesgirl at 8:45 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • I would attend to her needs first. Make sure she understands that she is not in competion with anyone else. The bf just has to deal with it.
    trashymom

    Answer by trashymom at 10:32 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • I learned a long time ago to listen to my daughter. She was highly sensitive to people and could know easily who was good and who was not. She was never wrong. It's even possible he's doing something to her that he shouldn't be doing but she doesn't know how to tell you. She just knows she doesn't like him. Make sure he's not alone with her or talk to her about good touching/bad touching. There is always a reason little children act like that. Listen to her. She's trying to tell you something.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:23 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

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