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Would you have contacted the teacher over this...(one bad word)

My 16 yo dd came home from school today and told me that a boy in her class was making fun of her...He first started out by saying....Oh can I call you Paco??? My dd told him no and told him to leave her alone. He then proceeded to keep calling her Paco and then when she turned around he called her a CUNT to her face.

I was livid when she told me and I contacted the teacher via email because it was after school hours and no one answered the phone when I called. I was beside myself...she is upset at me because she says now that the boy will get on her even more. She also said that she didn't go to the teacher in the first place about it because she has a definate fear of backlash from this boy. I consider this belittling to her and I told her that I was not going to stand for it because as far as I am concerned it is sexual harassment. I still think that I did the right thing but I am curious what you all think...

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:30 PM on Nov. 5, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • Yes, I think an email was a completely appropriate response, and I was a teacher last year and hubby is a teacher. Remember, though, the teacher will have limited options, but it is good for the teacher to be aware.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:34 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • It is sexual harrassment (sp?). Your daughter has a right to attend school without being ridiculed. She may not have liked you getting involved but it is for her well being. Good call on notifying her teacher. I personally would also have notified the principal and asked for some reprimand, and notification of the boy's parents. I was severly harassed by a boy in high school, and it even turned into physical harassment and he was expelled, and arrested. Don't let it go any further. Good Luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:39 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • My daughters experienced these same types of behavior,bullying by groups of boys and sexual harassment to the point that I finally pulled them out and homeschooled them, due to the fact that there was very little concern or action taken by the adults in authority.
    This IS sexual harassment! This boy's parents need to be notified, either by YOU (something I did was find out the parent's names and call them to discuss their sons' behavior and ways to rectify the situation) or by the principal of your daughter's school . Call in the school police if you have to. I did this, and these young men were told in no uncertain terms that they could be expelled for sexual harassment , and that we could sue their parents. The boys seemed to be scared straight for about two weeks. Then, the harassment would start all over again.


    Answer by Aprilmorgans at 6:47 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • (cont.) Once at a band concert where my daughter played flute, I had to literally call my dh off one of the boys who had called my daughters filthy names. He had the boy lifted shoulder high and pressed against the brick wall when I called dh's name and he then dropped the kid. (YEAH SCARY!!) THAT kid stopped for good. Where is her dad? Not recommending what MY dh did as the way to solve it, but you need to have him back you if he's around.

    Answer by Aprilmorgans at 6:52 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • I would find out who the boys mother is and go snatch her up and inform her she needs to get her boy to lay off with the vulgar words and if you have to come back to her house it won't be for a tuperware party! Kids act stupid because no body believes in teaching any morals to the MEN of tommorrow, this will also show your daughter to not take abuse from people like him. That makes me so mad! where is dad's ass nothing better be looking out for momma!

    Answer by 1countrygal at 8:07 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Contacting the teacher was the right thing to do. If I ever face this with my daughter, I will also request that the school set up a meeting between myself and the other kid's parents. Unfortunately, that would probably be futile, because typically, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

    Answer by Allysmom95 at 8:57 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • you did the right thing,, kids can and will be evil, do the best that you think is right,, so go to the school and personally talk to the teacher ,if not the principal,,good luck

    Answer by seexxymama4u2me at 9:12 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Yes you did the right thing..This boy has to be dealt with. It is sexual harrassment and most schools should be nipping this. Your daughter needs to learn that this boy CANNOT do this and she should not allow it at all.

    Answer by atpeace316 at 11:47 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • OMG. Our elementary school has a zero-tolerance program in place. Sexual comments (it IS sexual as he is calling her a female body part) will be cause for automatic suspension here.

    Answer by 4047mom at 7:27 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • What did you hear from the teacher or principal?

    Answer by cat4458 at 9:41 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

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