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8 Bumps

How do you know when to make a decision from your head or from your heart,

My heart want to always be there for my kids. My heads tells me they take me totally for granted and do not know how to be givers, rather than takers. I mean, it's where I rarely hear the words, "Thank you." Can there be so much pride between mother and son? I didn't raise them to  think that life owes them anything.  They tell me they're adult, but are not responsible to do the adult thing.

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PEPPERSHAKER

Asked by PEPPERSHAKER at 9:44 PM on Nov. 30, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 8 (216 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • well sit them down and tell them that you think they need to stop taking you for granted and you feel like they don't appreciate you. tell them that if they don't straighten up then you will not be their doormat anymore. that sounds good to me.
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:46 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Not sure how old your kids are, but I would say it takes until 21 or 22 before adult kids really start acting like adults. I'd suggest letting him know that you feel like you're being taken advantage of and go from there.
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 9:46 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • I think our kids are so used to being kids....and we're so used to parenting, that often they do take certain things for granted....even things they might thank someone else for.....I think the ages from 17- about 23 are the toughest. We as mom's, and our kids as young adults are both trying to find our places, and learn new roles in our relationship. I feel what you're going through. Best wishes.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:54 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • You can do both. I think you should always be their for your kids but dont let them step all over you. I dont know how old your children are either or examples of how they take you for granted.

    Jenaiko01

    Answer by Jenaiko01 at 10:21 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • My sons are 23 and 25 yrs. old. My 23 yr old is a US army soldier and a father of a lil girl, 2 yrs old in April 2011. I have written letters to my oldest son (25 yrs) who is constantly challenging me and disrespecting me since he was 12 yrs. old., I feel I'm very articulate and verbal about what I feel and expect. But,, I can never do enough and nothing seems to work. I feel he has not grown a bit. IT IS DEFINITELY ALL ABOUT HIM.. After 4 yrs. I told him he has to leave my house and he got very ugly with me. After warning him dozens of time about disrespecting me and my home, I called the police because he threatening to break the door down if I took his keys. I think I did what I had to do.
    PEPPERSHAKER

    Comment by PEPPERSHAKER (original poster) at 10:57 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • I am not sure how old your ADULT kid is, but it is obvious that they are not mature as of yet. We, as moms pray that they will eventually appreciate us & remember how good we have been to them. If they work FT, have them start paying you rent. They need to start being responsible.
    NicolesMommy

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 12:23 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I think you need to follow your head. Obviously your children didn't learn to be independent adults because you gave in and helped them. Stop helping them. It will be hard, but it's best for all people involved.
    SAMNMAYASMOM

    Answer by SAMNMAYASMOM at 1:00 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Always follow your heart. Your intuition.
    Mystic1Pen

    Answer by Mystic1Pen at 3:17 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • you make a mixture of both.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:23 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I use my head, not my The heart is decietful above all things and desperately wicked, and who can know it?
    A.Perry

    Answer by A.Perry at 10:16 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

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