Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

i wish bad things to happen to my ex (father of my child)

just so pissed off at him
and would like things to be nice
buthe is not ok to be around our child
i wish he would fall off the face of the earth

how to stop feeling so angry

Answer Question

Asked by fiatpax at 10:20 PM on Nov. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 46 (221,572 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • ohh you and me both!!!!

    Answer by alexis_06 at 10:22 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Its natural human reaction. I feel the same way about my son's father, but after a while I realized he wasn't going to change and the only person I was hurting by being angry was myself. It was stressful but after a while you get tired of being angry. I also feel that way about other people. We feel angry for a reason and it's ok if you need to be angry just let yourself be angry for a while. We can't help how we feel :) especially when it comes to inconsiderate irresponsible fathers now days.

    Answer by kayaiden8907 at 10:25 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • you have to experience the anger, or it eats you up inside. Bottling it up is the worst thing you can do.

    Hon, I know how you feel. Its a miserable, burning, aching, sickly feeling. You have to let it out. When I separated from my ex, I printed out a picture of his face and taped it to a punching bag ( a pillow would work too) and I beat the shit out of it. I yelled and screamed at it, and told it all of the things I wanted to tell him, but that would have fallen on a deaf ear.

    Find a way to channel that energy or it'll make you miserable. You have every right to experience anger, it is justified.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 10:26 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Try making a voodoo doll.

    What I have always done is when I go bowling, I imagine the pins as my ex husbands head. And hurl that ball down the lane. I get more strikes that way.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:27 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • I understand how you feel. I divorced my oldest son's father when our son was 2. I felt like I was practically wishing his childhood away waiting for him to turn 18 so I didn't have to deal with his father, and so that my son didn't have to be hurt by him anymore (although I'm not sure that ever really ends). While you're in the middle of it, it seems to last forever....I called it my 16 year sentence. Sadly, I can't tell you how much relief I felt when my son turned 18. I didn't even realize that I hadn't been breathing for 16 years. It was as though huge boulders had been on my chest, and I didn't even realize it until they were lifted.

    I don't know that I can really help you, other than to say that the time passes quickly, try to focus on your son's childhood, before you know it, you will be free. *hugs*

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:28 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • LOL! Me too :)

    Answer by JessicaB86 at 10:31 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • Well, if it makes you all feel any better, that feeling does eventually subside. I've been divorced for 10 years now and I stopped feeling like that about 3 years ago. It does get better, but for now, you have to work through it. If these feelings are that intense fiatpix, you would benefit from some kind of counseling. I went through some hypnotherapy, and I feel that really helped me. I wish you the best.

    Answer by m-avi at 10:48 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • What I have always done is when I go bowling, I imagine the pins as my ex husbands head. And hurl that ball down the lane. I get more strikes that way.

    What I have done also is go the local golf course and get a bucket of balls and set each ball on the TEE and imagine it was your ex's head....I have done that and always impressed those around me how far I could strike that little ball and boy did it feel good!

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 10:54 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • im sorry sweetie your feeling this way i hope you get better soon i hope it all works out for you

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 10:56 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • but I also have to add that right when you get over your anger something comes up where it gets all stirred up again like graduation...every time one of our kids graduates the anger gets stirred up again and again...why? because he only shows up to graduation because of his parents and he doesn't even bother to get a card!!! but he sits and drinks all my husbands beer...grrr..the looosers of this world should be banned to another remote island somewhere as cold as their heart...

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 10:57 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.