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22 Bumps

how to deal with another woman pursuing your husband and family adult content

Thanks for taking a moment to consider my question.
I am a married woman who is having to deal with another woman being inappropriately interested in my husband and keep a smile on my face. This person participates in a sport my family and I are a part of. She considers herself a fan of my child who has made a name in this sport.
Her interaction with my husband was in my opinion very flirtatious, enough to cause me to question him directly. I was reassured it was ridiculous, at the time.

She is a FB friend of both my child and husband. I have been introduced to her as WIFE personally. Shortly thereafter, she informed my husband via FB that she finds him "sexy". He immediately informed her of crossing a line. I do feel the flirtation was inappropriate enough to encourage her to confess attraction. He apologised and admited unintentionally leading her on.
This being difficult enough to deal with as a parnter but as a parent, I wish to deal with others in an impeccable fashion. It is essential I do so. I also wish to teach the fact that her behavior is disrespectful and inapropriate twards a married person.
Unfortunately, I / we have to see this woman for several more events.
Every time I think of having to see this person again and deal with this blatant disrespect, I feel rage.
I don't know how to deal with this positively. I have violent feelings about it.
Does anyone have suggestions for a brilliant, impeccable way to get the point across in all respects? To show my child to respect a bonded couple and kick this tramps ass as I'd so very much love to do?
Thanks for any and all suggestions,

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:08 AM on Dec. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (35)
  • It's so good to see someone ask this....and say that your husband sees the problem. I hope he unfriended her when she "crossed the line", and that she has been "unfriended" from your son's page as well.

    As for you, be charming, and loving to your husband and son, as you would at any events. Your husband can do the most good by being loving and warm to you in her presence, and treating her politely, but as though she is of no importance to him. She should be embarrassed and ashamed of her behavior....although if she's that bold, and has no problem with hitting on a married man, she probably won't be.

    I don't think you need to do anything....your husband should really handle this. You can be polite....if chilly. I'm not sure how old your son is, but it's probably best if he's just not involved in this.

    Good luck, and I admire your class.

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:15 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • If I were to think it was as serious as you do, she wouldn't exist to me or my husband any more. She wouldn't be on his Facebook nor would we acknowledge her.
    If she kept her shit up, I'd beat the f--k out of her away from my child.
    Good luck, momma. It's a tough situation.

    Answer by dmdblleb at 12:17 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I know it might make you more enraged to talk to her but there might not be any other way. Tell her you feel that the flirtation is going a little too far with your dh and you would like her to stop. Good luck with how you pursuit the situation.

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 12:18 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Wow what a Homewrecker!!
    First off I think that your husband needs to unfriend her on FB, there is no reason that she needs to be one of her friends and since she crossed a line with him on there and he admits to unintentionally leading her on then I don't see why that would be a problem and it would send her the hint that her advances are completely unwanted. After that if she continues to flirt with your husband then you walk up and say to her "that is really inappropriate behavior and it not only makes my husband uncomfortable but it makes my son and myself uncomfortable as well and we would all appreciate it if you would have a little more class" Thats it, there is no more discussion if she wants to argue to discuss it just tell her to leave it alone and walk away no more said.

    If that doesn't do the trick, drag the tramp out back and give her a good old fashioned beat down. =D

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 12:18 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • WOW! i would feel Violent Too if this was happening to me! But, to set the right example for your child- kicking her Ass really isn't a option- & she is Not worth it- She is Unbelievable to go after your husband- at a Family Sport that you are All involved in- i would have cut her some slack if she wasn't sure if he was married but, to know who you are & have to face you at your event- She definitely has No Respect for herself or Anyone Else! i would probably wait until the next event & if she continues to be Flirty with your husband, i would either pull her aside when it is over, e-mail her or call her & ask what the hell her problem is- i would let her know she has over stepped every boundary & she needs to leave your family alone b/c she is messing with the wrong one! Wishing you lots of luck-


    Answer by daisyb at 12:26 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I totally agree with these guys that if your husband (and your child) hasn't un-friended her, it needs to happen now, and she needs to be blocked. Next, you guys need to come to a united front that you won't speak to her anymore, and that if she comes up to you at an event, that you will be cordial, then end the conversation. No need to ge all Jerry Springer on her ass (much as I'm sure any woman would!!), but I think you're handling I very well. I'm glad to hear your husband stepped in and said that she had crossed a line, and it sounds like he's being very honest with you, which says something. You have a good guy, and this beotch knows it. Luckily, it sounds like he only has eyes for you. I hope things go smoothly in the future. Good luck!

    Answer by musicpisces at 12:27 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Thanks so much everyone
    Two caveats to add zest to the mix, he left his email page open and I saw FB private emails from her. I clicked on the "sexy" message. It was wrong to look but it was strange to see a personal email from her. He was upfront when I confronted him but had already corrected her stepping over the line. They also use FB as promotional and for friends. She is part of the sport and theoretically a "valid friend". I did not ask him to unfriend her. I instead friended her. To keep track of her. My intent is to kill with kindness but her intent seems to be direct attack.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:41 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I Understand what you are saying because, I too was in that same kind of situation with one of our friends. But i feel like " I dont want someone that no one eles wants". I feel like your husband did the right thing by telling her that she is crossing the line. Which means you got ur A game Up because he is not feeling her. Women can be a handfull but is if she did anything eles I would turn my smile upside down and let her know, STOP FUCKING PLAYING WITH ME LIKE THAT. GET UR OWN> I mean whats the smile for do you want to keep the friendship while she is trying to steal your fam. UR ALL THE CHEER LEADERS THEY NEED.

    Answer by inlovewith4 at 1:00 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • She is taking advantage of the situation and taking advantage of your husband.

    I understand this would be awkward and uncomfortable, but your husband seriously needs to drop her from his FB account, regardless of what marketing they are doing through it. She is not a valid "friend" , she is more like a predator and a liar. And right now she has way too much access privately to your husband. You might be on her fb friend list, but it isn't going to show you any private chats or emails to your husband. This woman isn't going to stop, she is bold, scheming and she has no respect for your marriage or boundaries.

    You need to go to the events arm in arm with hubby the whole time. Don't leave him alone 1 second! He has to ignore any attention she dishes him...the hard part because all men like attention. He needs to show that he has no time for her and make it CLEAR. He might start by asking about her husband if she comes over.

    Answer by spottedpony at 1:41 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I agree with these gals. They should still unfriend & block the HO! That should send her a message. If she keeps up, then ur husband should politely put her n her place. If that doesn't work then u need 2 step n & give her a direct cut. Make it blatent. I know that's not lady like, but ur not dealing with a lady, ur dealing with a wanna-be homewreckin' whore! If she still feels the need 2 continue then u snatch the bitch up & STOMP A HOLE N HER SORRY NO GOOD TRIFLING ASS BABY! If I had the money I'd pay the assult fine 4 ya just 2 watch the event! Just remember these very important words: "U can't fix stupid, but U can SHUT IT THE HELL UP!

    Answer by amy197 at 1:43 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

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