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My girlfriends BF has turned into a major asshole, what do I do?

He just quit smoking pot, he's been a daily smoker for about 1o years. All of a sudden, he's gone from the most chill laid back guy, to a controlling maniac. He says he's embarrassed of her (she got drunk and came home and he was pissed). He says he's going to choose her friends from now on, called all of her family and told them she's an alcoholic (and believe me, she's not even close) broke some of her stuff and has started calling her names. He has done a complete 180 and we're all so confused. I want to tell her to leave him, but I'm afraid if they stay together she'll resent me for it. Please help?
(btw, I know this has nothing to do with parenting lol, I just need somewhere I can ask a question)
thanks in advance!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:27 AM on Dec. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Not your place. Let her deal with it. You'll be the bad guy if you step in. I know it sucks to watch (I've been there), but you can't win.

    Answer by musicpisces at 1:33 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I disagree w/ above poster. TELL HER. You will live better knowing you tried (and be gentle but firm) and if you lose her for a while, so be it. This dude sounds like he needs help (and they say pot smoking is a-okay, ya right all). Anyway, this relationship is doomed and when it does fall to crap, she'll call you.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 1:43 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • wow, are you sure he didn't switch to drugs???

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 1:48 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • nope, that's why we're so confused! not drinking either. He had to quit smoking for a job, so that's how we know it's not other drugs.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:53 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Giving up an addiction can cause a person to act crazy. Look up withdraws symptoms from alcohol and the same symptoms apply. My DH gave up porn after almost 20 years of it. He's normally laid back. I didn't think it was a big deal.but he became a complete ass for a few months. Even alittle abusive. I thought we were going to get divorced and I saw a therapist. She clarified it. I stood my ground and insisted he straighten up. I stuck it out and he's finally back to how he was before less the addiction. I don't know what you should say but I would just lead her to some information on addiction and withdraw. I would not tell her to leave per say but I would tell her she deserves better treatment.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

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