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Is it ok f you do not like/love your step kid?

I have a 9 yr old stepson and i have been in his life for 5 yrs. I say i love him but really i dont. He is a weird kid and acts like he is 5 yrs old. I have a 3 yr old with my husband and she is smarter and tougher than his son. Is this bad for me to feel this way? I dont think i can ever love him but i cant tell my husband he would be upset.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:18 AM on Dec. 1, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I don't think it is awful, you can't make yourself feel something that you don't. You can treat him well and learn to like him, don't treat him any differently and do everything you can to help him succeed in life, because you love his father. I am a step mom to kids now 23-21 and I can't say that I love them. I have learned over the past 15 years to get along and I really like his youngest son, now. But our relationship was never good, their mothers had such hatred towards me, that it bled into every interaction I had with them
    Bubbie0809

    Answer by Bubbie0809 at 4:32 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I don't think it's abnormal... I'd just never tell the boy nor his father. He is a child but he's a person too... and we don't like everyone. It happens.
    Gremlyn1980

    Answer by Gremlyn1980 at 5:44 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I think those are normal feelings. I can't stand 2 of my stepkids and they pretty much know it now they are selfish grown up kids now but they expect that you support them and give them money. I feel if I can work so can they theres nothing wrong with them to get a job.At 1st I tried but the constant you give me money and support me and I'll love you doesn't work for me they got nothing and get nothing from us. I came into their lives when they were teenagers. But he will know the difference at some point. Sorry you are feeling like that but we don't have to like someone just because they are in our family.
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 6:10 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Wow it sounds like you have resentment towards the boy, you can't fake liking him forever eventually someone will notice from the way you treat him. That is terrible.
    sheloveearth

    Answer by sheloveearth at 5:04 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • i don't think i could ever love any ones child like i love my own.
    WHICH IS WHY YOU NEED TO BE EXTRA CAREFUL WHEN BECOMING A STEP PARENT!!!!!
    Please take extra care that this child does not feel how you are feeling!!!!!
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 9:14 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I don't think it's resentment as others state above. You obviously don't feel anything for this child; no need to apologize for your feelings. I feel the same way about my nieces and nephews on my husband's side of the family. I do not wish them any harm but I can't honestly say that I love them either. It is what it is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • As long as you dont treat them any dif than your own kids then there is no problem but when you married the kids dad you basically agreed to mother the child so stick to it or get out of his life before you screw the kid up
    Rockabye

    Answer by Rockabye at 12:27 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Sounds like a troll just from the way it is worded. But just in case, you can't make yourself love someone, but you should NEVER let him or your husband know. That would be rotten and selfish of you.
    CarriePM

    Answer by CarriePM at 12:03 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • Thank you to everyone well except sheloveeart...For 1 you dont know me and you dont know how this boy treats me and his father. Maybe i do need to grow up a little but so does everyone in some way or another. This boy gets treated the same as my daughter if not better cause his dad dont discipline him..so to put your mind at ease he is treated like a king. and for the record i am about the most caring loving person i know...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:25 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • No it's not. If you don't love him, stop telling him you do. That is not fair to him and it is lying. To me it sounds like you have a lot of resentment towards your stepson because he isn't yours. It is not his fault that his parents aren't together and his father is with someone else. Think about how you would feel if it was a stepparent not loving or liking your daughter. I think you need to talk to your husband and get some counseling to deal with resentment and other issues that you may have in regards to your stepson. Just remember that he is a CHILD and he should at minimum be liked by his stepmother. If you didn't like him, you shouldn't have married his father.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 6:56 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

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