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How to deal with this?

Three weeks ago my husband told that he needs to go to job interview to another country, I stated 'great' we can join you that country and my parents can come there. He bought for himself the cheapest tickets. Meantime, two weeks later my mom was hospitalized and my parents decided they won't be able to come. They suggested me and our daughter to come to their home country instead, for the period that my husband will be on job interview. Our daughter was happy.

My husband though got extremely mad, he told that I do not respect him, that he does not have power of decision and there is no family exist, he demanded that I start process of divorce and left house knocking the table with his feast in front of 6 years old.

I was after teaching 3 university courses, tired, hungry and frankly did not know how to react. He told that he is not going to start process of divorce, but that I should...

This weekend he had trouble when we scheduled play date with 6 years old thinking he will be at work, he got very upset when we did not canceled it, he did not speak with us, did not eat the food I and my daughter cooked him...

Before this he literally spent majority of his time at job trying to get tenure in academy (including weekends). When I asked him to be involved more with our daughter's school (separate big trouble) he just refused. When I asked that he help our daughter with math homework- he pretended he did, but actually made our daughter cry and told her several times that she is stupid...

I don't know I just feel horrible. help.

Answer Question
 
ganna04

Asked by ganna04 at 5:50 AM on Dec. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,468 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • how old is this man to behave so immaturely? he seems to have MASSIVE control issues/self esteem issues in reguards to you. how long have you two been married?
    katiPeas

    Answer by katiPeas at 6:01 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • 15 years...
    ganna04

    Comment by ganna04 (original poster) at 6:07 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • are you sure that you would be happy living in another country with a controlling man like him? this is something huge happening in your life and i think you really need to analyze the situation, what are the pro's and con's?
    BobbieJo286

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 9:11 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • You must communicate to come to an agreeable decision that will benefit the both of you. 15 years is a long time to be married and by now I think you both know the value of mutual respect. I've been married 10 years and I've learned that sometimes extended family don't need to be included in every decision that we make because it causes a lot of confusion. This is between you too only. I hope for love to blossum abundantly for you and your husband.
    balancingmother

    Answer by balancingmother at 10:39 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • It sounds to me that he is very childish. IF your parents were sick he should have been more understanding. Canceling a play date already scheduled just to assuage his grumpiness is very immature and he probably still would have been grumpy anyway. If after 15 years he acts like a child, what makes you think things will get better. If he cannot keep the lines of communication open, it may be time to end things. It sounds like he shuts you down when you try and discuss things with him and if he is making your daughter cry rather than helping with her homework, it will teach her it is okay for a man to downgrade her intelligence and her feelings as she gets older.
    acrogodess

    Answer by acrogodess at 11:05 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • He sounds stressed. Perhaps you can sit down and talk about the situation with out accusing him of any thing. Talk.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 12:21 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Thanks, for now he does not speak with me, just occuses me. It just so hard.
    ganna04

    Comment by ganna04 (original poster) at 8:31 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

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