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Has any stay at home mom ever felt like there losing there idenity?

I have 4 kids and a husband, I'm a stay at home mom and a inspiring writer. My kids drives me crazy sometimes I feel like I just can't do this anymore being home all day with them is hectic. I have a 17 year old, 11 yr old, 8 yr old and 6 yr old. My oldest son is the one who really pushes my buttons, they argue with each other all day long. I'm not the parent who spanks them, I even feel bad when I yell but there getting on my darn nerves, so now I feel like they turned me into a general. As soon as they get home it like ok hut two three, four. My husband they don't play with him. I think I feel like I want so much more than just mom,mom,mom,mom,mom,mom,mom,mom all day long they call me every second. ughhhhhh. I'm about to really lose my mind and be in the nut house..lol Need some peace. Any suggestions...

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goldenrose35

Asked by goldenrose35 at 9:06 AM on Dec. 1, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Sorry, no. I've been a SAHM since 2007 and my DD is only 2 years old. I am also married. My daughter does drive me insane, but I do discipline her and she knows just how far she can push me until it's too much. I can see how difficult it would be if I had more than one child. Ask me this same question in a few years down the road and see if my answer is still the same... lol.
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 9:09 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Even though you don't like to discipline, you need to start. And you need to set aside some little blocks of time to write, if that's what you enjoy. Your children are old enough that it really should not be a problem to find that time. You could even set aside an hour every day for "room time" where the children have to go somewhere and be quiet. They can read or play or do what they please, so long as they are quiet. One reason you are losing your identity is that you are not being the queen of your own castle and only you can make that happen. So I would start today by telling the family that there are new rules and they will be enforced. You make the rules and then determine how you will enforce them. Then you state them and carry them out. And if you can't handle the oldest, tell dad you are turning that one over to him to enforce your rules. This is supposed to be a team effort.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:11 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Many times, I felt this way, it is all part of the job.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:12 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • yes, i certainly have! It won't last forever...
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:13 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I've felt like this a lot of times, I have to just really work on giving myself time on things. I also started to just tell the husband I need a break and leave for a little bit. You have older kids which could really help with the younger kids. I would start by giving them things to do on a regular basis. It takes some time to get yourself back but by giving yourself time to yourself you will start working on you and you start to balance the mom and the you in your life :) Don't worry it happens to a lot of moms!
    JesF419

    Answer by JesF419 at 9:14 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • i dont think really its sahm question but a mom question lol, when your kids get bier thats when i started feeling like i didnt recognise myself anymore, i began questioning who i was because they werent depending on me as much anymore, but i guess i had to come to the cnclusion that as long as they stil saw me as mommy then i didnt care if i reognised me , as long as they did, but i do understand where you are coming from and its rough, when i started feeling like that i begnlooking for things to do, mostly with my babies but it kept me busier and then te feelings would pass for awhile we started doing puzzles or a video game e would work through a little at a time, or scrap book pages ect. hope this helps a tiny bit, love to yas !!!
    Terry
    tenkerbail

    Answer by tenkerbail at 9:17 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I've felt that way at times. I actually just went through a phase where I was questioning if I could still stay home or should I get a part time job. I have been home for 9 years and my children are 13, 11, and 9. There have been times when I feel like it is always mom, mom, mom and then I would feel gulity for wanting a break. Now I do take that break even if it is to just go grab a coffee or to the store. I have also made many friends over the years and I spend time with them. We make it a point to get together every once in a while. I think the longer you are home the harder it gets, which I know sounds crazy.

    Try making time for yourself, even if it is just an hour a day. Hopefully it will get better and know that you are not alone.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 9:26 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • THEY'RE losing THEIR identity?
    no, I never forgot who I was. Beng a Mom is stressful but I always knew I was the same person . However, I had more responsibility and needed more time to devote to others instead of always thinking about ME.
    And if you are an aspiring writer,you will need a refresher course in grammar,etc.
    kerp1960

    Answer by kerp1960 at 9:32 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I did when I stayed home while finishing my BA. I went back to work b/c if I stayed home one more day...I would probably needed to be committed. So I went to work teaching. Feel so much better now.
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 10:22 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

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