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Why do they focus on the bad ones?

My Grandma passing has stirred up alot of bad feelings. She was infamous for excluding ALL her grandkids except one,my cousin Lisa. She'd take her out and buy her anything she wanted,and her poor sister got the shaft and a bitching out if she questioned why she didn't get something too. Anything Lisa wanted,she got. For all intents and purposes,Lisa is a slut. She has 2 kids,7 months,and 2 years. The older one was taken away because she wasn't feeding him. She has no job,lives with her mom,and goes out drinking at least 5 days out of 7.
On the other hand,my other cousin Mandy and I finished school,worked,stayed out of trouble,and are good people. But we are excluded. We are treated like crap,put down. Just before My grandma passed I went to see her. She had nothing but praise for everyone else. I step up to say hi and she says"you sure have put on alot of weight!" That was the proverbial straw. Everyone made excuses for her,but I knew this was her last word. She never had one cross word for ANYONE but me. She broke my heart and never apologized and now I'm left with that memory forever.


Asked by butterflyblue19 at 9:39 AM on Dec. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
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Answers (7)
  • I am so sorry this is the memory of you have of your grandma.

    Answer by older at 9:40 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I know you must have a lot of repressed negative feelings deep inside. But now is the time to let go. In a few months you will feel much better!

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 9:43 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Maybe she in some way felt responsible for how Lisa turned out and has spent all this time trying to make up for it. It doesn't excuse treating everyone else badly, but I'm sorry for how things went.

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 9:59 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I'm sorry. I have sort of given up on trying to figure people out. We have relatives kind of like this too. My husband's grandmother really liked my husband better than all her other grandkids and made no secret of it. I was flabbergasted when I would hear her telling everyone how he was her favorite. It's just not fair to everyone else. She got sort of crazy for the last couple of years of her life and started getting very mean and said some pretty rude things to me for no reason...she was always a little weird, but I hate that she got so nasty toward the end. I just have to try to remember how less-awful she was in previous years. I'm sorry for your pain.

    Answer by vicesix at 10:02 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I understand she hurt your feelings but older people said things that are hurtful. You know you are a good person, just forgive her and don't let her comment bring you down. You are pretty no matter what. If we keep negative comments in our heart, we are making ourselves negative people. When people say negative things, I really try to ignore them, I know it takes times but just give it a try. Hope you will feel better soon.

    Answer by bratgirln1 at 12:14 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • You have to forgive her and move on otherwise your going to be a bitter woman.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 12:16 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • She helped create how Lisa is by giving in to her every whim and not expecting her to do anything for herself. By keeping up with that she just made it worse. She expected the rest of us to be self sufficient by 1st grade! in kindergarten I got myself up and COOKED my own breakfast and got myself to school.
    Apparently because Lisa is 100 lbs,she's better than me because I'm chubby

    Comment by butterflyblue19 (original poster) at 10:05 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

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