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Gift Cards

So I have a SIL who is very busy and doesnt communicate with family much. I understand being busy but its really hard to have a relationship with her unless they are in town. They live 12 hrs away. We used to be really close. SHe is very involved with ehr kids which is great but it makes it really hard for us to be involved with her kids. Example- last year I ordered my nephew the kids left behind series (he is almost 11) knowing they are christian and home school and sensor alot of what their kids see. She has complained about too many toys and such so I thought it would be a good gift. I splurged on the whole series for him (about 15 books). She told me later they read thru part of the first one and she didnt think it was appropriate so they are saving them and maybe one day she will give them to him . This year I asked my other siblings if they would like to pitch in and give them tickets to a hockey game or an something instead of stuff. I sent her a txt and asked told her our idea and asked her to pick something off ticket master that the boys would like to go to. She said she would discuss it with my brother. 2 weeks later she sends me a txt that says the boys would like a gift card to sonic or braums or walmart. I wanted to pick them a gift!! It is the fun of giving!! I dont want to give them a food gift card. I am sick of trying wih her and we are so different and she wont communicate that it is impossible to relate to them and I really want to!!! Should I just buy them a food gift card so atleast i know it will get used? Its too much to tell the history here, hope I explained it well. I love being their aunt and want to buy them something fun!!

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ria7

Asked by ria7 at 10:05 AM on Dec. 1, 2010 in Holidays

Level 23 (15,224 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Get them a board game? Maybe you can get them a gift card to Barnes & Noble? Maybe, try calling and talking to the kids yourself and tell them you want to buy them something special that they would like, and they could tell you themselves what they would like...
    AtHomeMommy-3

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 10:09 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Just give them a gift card. Atleast you'll know they will use it. You don't want to have the same thing happen to your gift again.
    AbsoluteSelf

    Answer by AbsoluteSelf at 10:09 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I understand your frustration. I think you either need to sit down with her and your brother and talk with them about this or you need to just get them what they asked for. I know it is hard, although if it really is about giving then why not give them something they have asked for. You could get them a GC to walmart and then they can buy something they want. After they get their gifts maybe they can come over and show you what they bought or send you a card with what they bought.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 10:10 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I would rather know what someone will use then buy them something that they won't use....

    Gift cards are a wonderful gift.

    Get them what they want, what kid does not like Sonic, walmart and stuff.

    At least you know it won't go to waste then you can give them a little something that you choose but I would not spend alot because they might not like it. If I get a gift card, I would put like a teddy bear for a girl, a model car for a boy... something small and fun.... Good luck!!!! My kids only want gift cards so they can shop- they are 8/11/14 I don't see the big deal... :) Happy Holidays...
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:11 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I honestly dont mind giving gift cards in general. I guess she just always hurts my feelings and I'm still store from the last 5 times. I would like a relationship with the boys, not jsut an aunt who sends them $. I gave them dinodigs one year and the boys loved it, distgusting science kits and they loved it. She complains about the gifts but they like them. She just has such extreme strong beliefs and they arent really down to earth so it is getting harder and harder for me to know them. I will just give the gift card but it seems impersonal to people I want to be fun and personal with. Especially the way I called all my other brothers and offered a fun family treat but she is all stiff and impersonal and sends a txt just asking for gift cards.
    ria7

    Comment by ria7 (original poster) at 10:17 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I understand, you want to buy a gift for the kids and not for your SIL. My kids would love the kinds of things you are describing. To me it almost sounds like your SIL wants a free meal instead of a gift for the boys. I would talk with the kids and see what they say about waht they want. Really, I would just call once in a while to talk with them. You might become the cool aunt who talks with them and get to build a relationship with them without having to get your SIL's approval for everything. Good luck!
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:28 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I totally get your frustration. You wanted to do something special that they would enjoy and she basically demoted your great idea. If it were me, I'd just get them a gift card to one of the places they requested. I would also just try and let it go (hard as that seems). I'm not a fan of gift cards either but some people just don't understand you want to get them a gift that means something.
    weberbaby

    Answer by weberbaby at 4:56 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I think gift cards are impersonal. But, at the same, time she sounds like she is extremely picky and no gift is good enough for her kids. She asked for a gift card, so that's what I would get.
    HotMama330

    Answer by HotMama330 at 5:27 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

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