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How can i make df understand that attendance at work/school is important???pls no bashing

So yes as ridiculus as it sounds i need advice on that, my df & i have always fought about him calling in for stupid reasons at work, i have literally gone to work w/the flu &took dayquile with me, took nyquile at night to make me feel better, him let me give an example this summer he missed 2 days because his sunburn hurt so now His dd moved in w/us 3months ago& if she says she feels sick he lets her stay home& then sends her to school w/a written note, not one from the Dr, he will ask in the morning how she is feeling& of course she will say not well, so he lets her stay, frankly im tired of it, i wont be the one to be sent to court if they do send him ,but financially it will affect me n our boys if he has to pay a fine, he lets her do the same thing that he does, im tired of it& just dnt know how to talk to him about it w/out causing an argument, because more than likely i will tell him how irresponsible he is.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Dec. 1, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • So, whats wrong with telling him he's being irresponsible? The truth hurts, he's setting a bad example for your boys. If it's YOUR house, then it's YOUR rules.

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 10:33 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I can understand the sunburn thing - and unless you have been severely sunburned you cannot understand. End of story.

    As for his daughter - in my house unless you are throwing up or running a fever, you go to school. End of story. And in our school district it is 10 absences per year or course (year - elementary and middle, course - high).....on absence 11 you can be held back and in order to not be held back you have to have documentation like a hospital visitation in order to appeal the retaining.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:34 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Shame on you for exposing your co-workers to your flu.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:36 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Let him know that what df is doing is setting a bad example.School and work is important. If you want to pass the grade or get a promotion. Either one affects others. Hence ask df if you were doing what df was, and both of you were doing it, how would the bills gets paid? Hence setting the example is part of being a parent. There are things we may not like doing but we do it all the same for the little ones are always watching. Hope this helps.

    Answer by CloudWeaver at 10:37 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Find out the school's policy regarding absences. He may be getting by with it at his job, but if his daughter misses too many days she might end up repeating a grade or having to go to summer school. He may think he's doing his daughter a favor by letting her stay home any time she decides she isn't up to school, but he isn't. He's also setting a bad example, but as long as he's getting away with it I can't imagine he'll see it that way. GL!


    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 10:39 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • lol anon, hey the damn flu wasnt going to pay my rent.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:39 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I grew up in a household like that-- dad was 'sick' and would sound near death when he called in but 5 min. later he was somehow healthy enough and had a strong enough voice to yell at sis and I for misbehaving! He was NOT a good role model and thankfully his slacker hypochondriac attitude did not rub off on sis and I. (we had a good mom who made sure we grew up right!) I do think you need to sit DF down and tell him that as a parent he needs to set a good example, and he needs to step up and start cracking down on all the sick time he and dd are using. Going to school and work are important- if you take too many sick days you can loose your job, and his sick record may make it hard for him to find a new job. As for school- ours only allows so many 'sick' days and if you go over you could be held back. Also if there are a lot of 'illnesses' they may start requiring a Doctors note only- and not accept a parent's word on

    Answer by MizLee at 10:57 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • (continued)
    If the child is out too many days the school might get suspicious and they may not accept a parent's excuse (they may feel the parent is letting the child slack off) and they may start requiring a doctors excuse note each time instead of a parent note.

    Answer by MizLee at 11:00 AM on Dec. 1, 2010

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