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I can't stop thinking about this girl I work with.

I'm married, but I have a huge crush on this girl I work with! She's a lesbian, and she is so funny and nice and soo pretty! I know nothing can happen, how can I stop having a crush on her and just be friends without feeling like this? I want to want my husband like that I guess, but I don't know how!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:38 PM on Nov. 5, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • it seems like you have stronger feelings for her than your husband i think if you dont follow your heart you will be miserable and always wonder what might have been

    Answer by akashaismyworld at 7:46 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Maybe it is just a fantasy you have because she is all the things you like, sounds to me like you need to spice up ya home life with the hubby and kick it up a notch. Nothing wrong with having feelings as long as you don't act on it with her hopefully you get over it quickly! Good luck!

    Answer by 1countrygal at 7:51 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • yeah watch lesbian porn and spice it up maybe

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:54 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Yeah but lesbian porn is going to make me want chicks, and I don't like porn with guys in it, yuk! I was thinking more along the lines of going on more date nights, or going to the place we went on our honeymoon and stuff!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:29 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • I kinda feel the same about a girl i met online. Dh knows and he's cool with it. But i'm not sure what to tell you to do about it. Have you tried watching lesbian porn with him? we do and its sorta an innocent way of exploring my thoughts...

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:47 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • I think I would ask myself what I wanted from her. Would you be interested in a relationship with her, for who she is in the context of a relationship as you would have one with a man or would you be indulging a bi-curious fantasy in which she was just a prop to see 'what it was like with a woman'

    If it's the latter, then I would probably try to find a way to indulge that curiosity with someone you wouldn't end up hurting in the end, since the likelihood of an openly gay woman wanting to be the one night stand of an otherwise straight woman isn't high, nor is it fair to her. She deserves the respect of a valid offer rather than just the hot and heavy with someone who's not sure.

    Answer by Kestrel1 at 10:54 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • C'tinued

    If I were in your shoes I'd probably get together with a plain old friend, have a few too many beers and put the moves on her. An otherwise straight chick with whom you can blur some boundaries without either of you getting hurt by one person looking for more from the relationship than just a night of oops and a morning of confusion. Someone who you're comfortable enough with that you will be able to laugh it off after as WTF was that when all's said and done. If that leaves you feeling like you could be in a relationship with a woman, then you may have to reassess your relationship with hubbs, and whether you can keep that commitment.

    Answer by Kestrel1 at 10:55 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • well its hard to stop your feeling about someone when i first met my girlfriend i couldnt stop thinking about her now its been 6 years, to me i wouldnt tell yur husband hes going to think that you really want her,and it will be a big fight once you have a crush on someone its hard giver her a try i would

    Answer by mommydmcj at 9:46 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

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