For my husband and I.
Both of us initiating romantic/loving actions is what instigates mutual loving/romantic sexy feelings.
My wanting (and telling him) specific things from my husband is not enough to keep those feelings going. I must also instigate those feelings as well. In our marriage, it takes both of us making each other feel/experience those things in order for us to feel them/experience them as a couple. We can tell each other what we want or need until the cows come home, but unless both of us are putting the actions/behaviours in motion to illicit those feelings, it isn't going to happen much less continue to happen on a regular basis. I put in as much effort to make him feel just as : sexy, loved, desired, wanted, romanced...etc.. .... as I expect, want (and I do get...) in return.
at 3:15 PM on Dec. 1, 2010