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Is there a polite way to address this?

I have a friend who isn't a very good house keeper. She's a wonderful friend, and our kids are great friends. She recently moved and now lives very near me. She's constatntly calling to invite us over to hang out. I went twice, and honestly, I don't want to go back. I understand she's just moved, but the mess in her house goes way beyond your typical moving boxes. She's always been like this. Her house smells so bad I can't stand it! I don't understand how it could have gotten that bad so quickly. My stomach literally turns and I feel sick with the first breath I take when I walk in the door. I feel horrible for her family. I helped her clean her other home several times, but it always goes right back to the way it was before.
I'm running out of excuses to not visit. Is there a polite way to address this situation and keep our friendship?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:01 PM on Nov. 5, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Maybe you should just be honest and tell her. That's what friends are tell you the truth. It's ok if it bothers her at first but she'll get over it. You seem to care about her so it would be a good idea to bring it to her attention and start by saying I don't want to hurt you or I hope you understand..something that prepares her for what you'll say

    Answer by nora17 at 8:10 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Honestly I don't think there is a way to tell her and not insult her, So I would just invite her to my house instead.

    Answer by luv.2b.mommy at 8:05 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • I've done that. : ( What gets me, is they don't even smell it! I don't understand!!!! What do I do when she asks why I never go to her place?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:09 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • We had a neighbor once that had a smelly house. I think they become accustomed to the smell. I agree with the PP, there really is no way to tell her without hurting her feelings. Maybe you could say that one of your children has breathing problems after the visits (allergies and such) even if it isn't true, and after that you can just say that and not go to her home again. Maybe she'll take the hint that there 's something going on in her home.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:21 PM on Nov. 5, 2008