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Advice on trying to say no to watching a child during xmas break..

My neighbor have soul custody of her grandson (she is 62 years old), he is 10 (my daughter is 11). So watching him has not been an issue. However, she works full time, and I stay at home while the kids are in school (I work online).

Anyhow, my problem is not really watching him during school weeks, (and I also have watched him during school holiday breaks)--BUT..this christmas, my husband's brother and his wife and their daughter (which is both my daughter's and the boy I watch--same age)--but they are bringing their dog (mind you--we already have 2 huge dogs, and 2 cats).

We own a home--so it isn't a problem..however, I don't know how to tell her that I cannot watch him during xmas break due to we are having too much company (family) over..and my hubby's neice and my daughter will most likely want time together..without my neighbor's son kind of as the 3rd wheel. Note..he is a sweet boy, but we will have too much going on

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fitmom33

Asked by fitmom33 at 3:21 PM on Dec. 1, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Just tell you that you are taking a holiday vacation.. tell her now though so she has plenty of time to find another sitter.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 3:23 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Just tell her what you just said, that you are taking time over Christmas to spend with family and company. Tell her now so that she can find alternative babysitting help. I am sure she will be understanding.
    tony1638

    Answer by tony1638 at 3:24 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • just nicely say that you have a lot going on during the brake and won't be able to
    angie3897

    Answer by angie3897 at 3:24 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I think you just need to be honest with her. If possible maybe you could offer to watch him one or two days, that way she is not out for the whole week. If that is not an option for you then I would just let her know that you really have to much going on right now. There is nothing wrong with letting her know the truth and it is probably better to be honest with her then not. If you aren't honest and she sees all these people at your house she might wonder why you lied to her.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 3:25 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I would just tell her the truth, do it soon though so she can make other arrangments if she was counting on you. Tell her that you are having family visit for the holidays and just wont have the time to take care of another child. and that you would like to spend time with your family while they are there.
    foxracing43701

    Answer by foxracing43701 at 3:25 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • by the way---(Im the questioner)...she DOES pay me $50 a week (in which I don't need)..and she is very sweet. But she really has no one else to watch him (unless her daughter comes down to visit and she has before during holidays with her kids--that is really the only time I get a break). Again--he is very sweet boy..but he has extreme ADD (and she put him on Meds)--even tho I personally think she did just to do things the "easy way"..since for her age..she seems like it's "too much" to deal with him sometimes even tho she has fought for custody for him during the last 2 years.

    Another issue I didn't realize is that, she will probably (most likely) need me the entire summer--and that's when my husband's other neice usually stays with us for the whole summer. I know I might sound a bit selfish but it wont be fair having him and trying to go out and spend family time with relatives..i feel he will feel left out.
    fitmom33

    Comment by fitmom33 (original poster) at 3:26 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I'd let her know as soon as possible that you can't watch him. She should understand.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 3:27 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Just be honest with her. She sounds nice I'm sure she will understand.
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 3:28 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Sorry---I have to add more...so they only give us a certain amount..lol

    He is very sweet, says "ma'am"..however, it's also money as a slight issue..we are not poor, but we might want to take the girls out and go to the movies, et.c..and my husband wispered to me the other day.."and then we'll have to pay for him too"..and we just went "sigh"..again, I don't mean to sound selfish..I'm really all she has sort of. I have thought about a few days. I even thought about lying and saying WE are going out of town--but that wouldn't work due to she lives only 2 streets behind, and (I know that would be wrong). He is at a good age to watch--not too young, not too hard. But I do feel our house is small enough (about 1300 sq ft), so having 4 adults, 3 huge dogs, 2 cats and 2 girls PLUS him (from 7am-6pm mind you --is her hours she works)...sigh...I just feel bad..I told her I would...forgetting all about his family coming :(
    fitmom33

    Comment by fitmom33 (original poster) at 3:30 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • By the way--thank you ALL of your comments..every single one of you is right. I should tell her soon so she can make plans.

    She does have a husband--but he actually lives with his sister 90% of the time (she is disabled)...so he pretty much lives with her. I know in worse cases he can take him--but he also works...so that's why I feel guilty--she just got a full time job (and I don't want to cause her to lose it-since she was looking for a job for weeks before I started watching him full time)..and note--I also watch him during the entire Thanksgiving break (except actual Thanksgiving). So I do care about how she will feel. I just feel that the "reason" seems selfish...as that "Sorry, but we have too many family members"..and she might feel that "why not? You will already have anotehr child, so why not him also?" (not that she said that)..but I know she may think that..:(

    Thanks you all :)
    fitmom33

    Comment by fitmom33 (original poster) at 3:34 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

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