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2 Bumps

When do you say enough is enough?

I have been married for four and a half years. Two of those years have been awful. We fight about everything, he's very pessimistic, has a negative attitude about everything. I tried so hard to give him things to be happy about... but the house is never clean enough, the kids never listen well enough, I'm too "lenient" (even though my oldest is only 6 1/2). My mom and I have gone round after round because she's pushing for marriage counseling. It upsets me because she knows how he is. He won't even agree to go to counseling. I don't believe that it's going to make a difference anyway because he is exactly like his father. She keeps telling me, things will be better when the kids get older. All his dad's kids are out of the house, and he's still a grumpy b@stard. All my MIL does is complain about my FIL, and I don't want that to be me in 20 years. It gets worse as the each month goes by. No one wants to be around him, then he complains he has no friends. I don't want to be a single mom, but I'm just so unhappy. We've tried to talk, he blames it on work. I tell him to find a new job, he says he likes working there, but it's stressful. He gets mad at me when I go out and leave him home with the kids, but he never wants to go out anywhere with me. It just goes on and on. I don't know what else to do.

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SAHMomOf3

Asked by SAHMomOf3 at 4:18 PM on Dec. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,874 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • When there are children involved I think you can only say enough is enough when you have tried everything possible to fix it. If you haven't tried counseling then I don't think you have tried everything. Tell him you are going with or without him and then go, let him know that you are unhappy and nothing is changing in the relationship and that if he doens't go to counseling with you that there is a good chance the marriage will end. Then if it does end you will know you tried everything possible to fix it. Children don't deserve to grow up in an unhappy home, and no one has to stay miserable "for the sake of the kids," BUT if you can work things out then it is best for children to grow up in a home with both parents in a stable marriage together. He couldn't have always been as bad as his father or you wouldn't have married him in the first place. Look for all solutions before looking for a way out. Good luck.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 4:23 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I say that you need to do some thinking and praying,,,, you need to think about the happiness of your kids and yourself, your kids are number one in your life and your choice should have their best interest in mind, if it was me i would be out. my kids should never see that sad of a home. I hope your are ok and things work out!!hugs

    woobie102

    Answer by woobie102 at 4:24 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • life is too short not to be happy
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 4:24 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • When the bad outweighs the good it's time to move on. If you don't want to be a single mom, pick out a new guy to have waiting for you when the divorce is final
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:50 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • i wish i knew when enough was enough...i love my SO more than anything, but i dont trust him and hurt alot of the time emotionally. if someone else told me the same situation im in, i would tell them to get out asap...but i just dont have the heart to leave. i love him too much. so, i dont have any advice, just empathy.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 4:55 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Sweetie...breath...you're going to overload. If you stay in an unhappy situation then your kids are going to think that that is normal and it could have an effect on the relationships they forge.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 9:13 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

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