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Why does my son (3 yrs) not want to be with me?

I am a single mom and my x and i get along well. My son has started to cry and throw tantrums when he has to stay with me and constantly screams fo rhis daddy. I think this is normal, but it breaks my heart and it is causeing my x to wonder if i am doing anything to hurt or upset our son. I feel like abad mom and that my son hates me. When it is just he and I we are great and laughing and he loves and kisses me....any help please???

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caligirl71

Asked by caligirl71 at 8:23 PM on Nov. 5, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (6)
  • It'll get better! I have a 3 year old son too & for the past 2 years, he is extremely close to his daddy. I'm currently a SAHM but when his dad gets home from work my son is attached to his dad the rest of the evening & it's the same way on the weekends too. I call it my mini vacation because I wont see my 3 year old at all as long as my husband is home. It made me sad at first but I learned to use this time for me. Your son will get use to the change & he will adapt with the way things work around both households soon. Explain to your son during the times that you take him back to his dads that you will be back to pick him up on "such day" & give him an example how you two will spend the day. I would also call him the night of or on the first day that you are going to see him so he can have an idea in his mind that your coming. Ask your EX to help you with encouraging your sons time with you too.
    onespecialmom

    Answer by onespecialmom at 8:54 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • I have 2 sons ( 7 &4) and I have listened to Dr Dobson(christian author,Focus on the Family) for years and have read his books. He prepared me for this to happen to me. Between 18 mo and 3 years male children naturally gravitate towards their daddies. It's awesome to watch...but a little hard to take at first. Your son loves and needs you just as much but YOU can't show him how to be a man, that's the daddies job. Kids with dads out of the picture tend to do this with the closest male figure they feel close to. It's healthy and necessary for your son. Just love him threw it and find extra support for you. God Bless....
    fbic72

    Answer by fbic72 at 9:21 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Is it possible you are stricter than your ex? If your son can get away with more stuff at Dad's then he can with you, that could be the issue.
    ithi

    Answer by ithi at 10:41 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • Well, I think it is a boy thing. My son is closer with his father than he is with me. They have more in common and they want to be just like daddy. Me and my kids father had broken up for like a week recently, we had a stupid argument and he left. My son cried for him all night long, it killed me. I think it is hard for them to not have both of their parents around all of the time like it was. But don't think you are a bad mother, that's just hw boys are and things will get better as he gets older and understands why daddy isn't there all the time and that both of yo love him a lot.
    bphockeymom20

    Answer by bphockeymom20 at 10:46 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I think it's a boy thing.....ugh

    My SO and I are together and my 4 year old will tell me 10 minutes after my SO goes to work that he "misses daddy". Makes me mad too because he says the same thing if I walk away or when I am trying to get something done like dishes and I am not in a place where we can play. We laugh about it because I yell at him in a big goofy voice "HOW can you miss me if I NEVER go away!!" He just laughs and laughs. I should say I am a SAHM too....
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 2:01 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • #1 your little guy is starting to realize the difference between boys and girls and he knows daddy is a boy and he is a boy. Thats cool. I actually witnessed a little boy today (2) who is the son of a friend of myine who is a single mom and the father isnt involved. One of our girlfriends came over with her baby and the father/her boyfriend and this little boy fell in LOVE! By the time it was time to go home he was kicking and screaming saying he wanted to stay with Justin (who he had met no more than three hours prior) So it's not that your a bad mom or even that he loves daddy more. He just wants to explore this alliance between boys. Its kinda of like a cool secret club
    humaniterian87

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 4:09 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

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