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2 Bumps

This is REALLY bothering me.. not knowing what to do! *for you moms married to someone who has a child w/someone previously**

So for a little background..
My husband and I have been married less than a year. He & I both have children from previous relationships..mine is 5, his is 3(they get along great, and have been around eachother almost since his childs birth) Together we have one, and we are expecting our last months from now. (:

When we were dating I had lots of trouble from his old fiance..immature trouble, always running to other people trying to get information about me and saying very strange things to my now mother in law... so things havent been "smooth" I just ignore it however, like I always have, so theres def. no drama! I cant stand that stuff and it gets in the way of the children.

So my question... it is our weekend w/ my step daughter but her Gma (from her moms side) asked for her one day this weekend for a parade, so of course we said yes. However, she also asked for MY child to come w/ them. my child has only seen this woman a FEW times on drop offs and pick ups of my step daughter. After my husband told her thank you very much for offering, but i dont feel comfortable sending my daughter w/ people i do not know, she started going on and on how she wants my step daughter to share the excitement w/ my daughter, and wouldnt stop..

I still have a hard time sending my daughter w/ my brothers fiance alone(: I am VERY cautious and am PROUD of it. I dont just hand her off to anyone, even if people i love know them, I personally do not.

Do you send your child with your husbands ex fiance/girlfriend/wives family? I had never heard people even do things like this.. but want to make sure im not just being too cautious.

Do you think I handled it okay without sounding mean? Would you let your child go this young with people she doesnt know just because her step sister is there?

For some reason I feel like I am being mean, when in all reality im not!!! What would you do?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Dec. 1, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I wouldn't send her, however it was very nice of her to ask. Maybe you can go to the parade as well. If that doesn't work out maybe you can offer to set up a playdate with the gma when you have the girls together. Then Gma can get to know your DD and you can get to know her better.

    Answer by mom2queenie2004 at 5:31 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Well you are the mom and you know best. I always say listen to your mommy gut.

    Answer by sta517 at 5:25 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I wouldn't but she is prob just being nice since your husband is allowing her to take the child to the parade when he could have said no.

    Answer by JLS2388 at 5:30 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I agree, I also think it was very nice for her to consider my daughter... Do people really take that much time into hanging out w/ the opposite family? Everyone i know who is divorced, remarried, or has children w/ others NO one hangs out w/ the other family.. i really dont have any desire too either. No desire to be mean, but none to be great friends or anything.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:37 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I would be fine with it, but that's just me. Not sure how old your child is but if you're blending families it would be nice to eventually have it feel like one big family.  Maybe there is some way you could get to know the grandma a little better so you would feel more comfortable =)


    Answer by skittles1108 at 5:57 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I wouldn't do it, I wouldn't have even considered it.

    Answer by Bubbie0809 at 6:13 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I would do it and I would encourage it. Growing up my grandparents always made a point of involving my sister (not related to them) to some of the outing we did. Not everything but enough that my sister never felt left out, and for kids that can be important. Not to mention it only fosters the "yours, mine and ours" I know there is no ours but it keeps the families divided when what should be happening is the families coming together, granted not all families are willing but when you have an opportunity to foster a good report with the other side I feel it would be foolish not to give it a shot.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 12:27 AM on Dec. 2, 2010