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For mothers who have lost a child...or even if you haven't...

It has been quite some years since my daughter had passed away. I have gone through my grieving but yesterday and today, I have just had these strong feelings of missing her. I know I haven't taken flowers to the cemetary in a long time because it is far from where we live, but it almost feels like something is telling me to go the cemetary. I don't really know what I'm asking, just does anyone have any thoughts to share.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:50 PM on Nov. 5, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • all i can say is om sorry and maybe you should go visit her grave sight. it will probably help you. again, im sorry
    babycakes111

    Answer by babycakes111 at 8:53 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. My sister has a miscarriage and it's almost a year. I can't imagine the pain of that ever going away. My prayers and heart goes out to you. We also lost my brother a year ago in September and it's been so harsh. I miss him daily. I think about him all the time. I think as long as we keep their memories alive then we are doing the best by honoring them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Go on honey and take the flowers. It's time to settle up with your heart. Maybe your heart is telling you that it's okay now. It's all part of healing. Once you go through the steps of grieving, they don't stop. They only stop when you choose to ignore them. If your heart is talking, listen. If not, you will just walk around and wonder if you should have done something more and start feeling guilty. You don't need that burden anymore. Hope it all works out.
    son_and_moon

    Answer by son_and_moon at 8:56 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • when we lose someone there are days that are worse than others and this is normal go ahead and griev and visit her grave, say a prayer for her and hopefully you will feel better soon. but for now surround yourself with people to support you you husband and friends. im sorry for your loss
    akashaismyworld

    Answer by akashaismyworld at 8:57 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • My daughter would be 10 this coming January (she was stillborn). For the most part, she has taken her own special spot in my heart, and I can usually feel peaceful with thoughts of her. However, I still have the occasional times when I miss her so much and feel like I'm right back in the depths of grief. Over time, those instances have come less and less often. I would say go to the cemetery, have a good cry, remember your daughter. It will be therapeutic.

    Mishelly728

    Answer by Mishelly728 at 9:07 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • AS A MOM WHOM AS WELL LOST MY ONLY DAUGHTER, I BELIEVE THAT YOU SHOULD GO IT HAS BEEN TWO YEARS SINCE MY LOST AND I STILL TO THIS DAY GO AND TAKE FLOWER OR GO JUST TO BE WITH HER, NEXT WEEKEND SHE WILL BE 3 AND MY SONS WANTS TO GO BUY A CAKE TO CELEBRATE ,MY POINT IS IF IN HEART YOU WANT TO GO BE WITH HER THEN GO, AT TIMES YOU WILL FIND THAT GIVES YOU A PIECE OF MIND DONT EVER FORGET ABOUT HER SHE STILL IS YOUR BABY GIRL, GOD BLESS
    movinup4

    Answer by movinup4 at 9:08 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • hun,, go bring flowers and talk to your daughter it will help you feel better,,, i lost a niece , and i go every time i can, it makes me feel better,, it's a normal reaction,,,,, you lost someone you loved, it hurts, but you go on,, one day at a time, and she;s an angel watching over you, and she misses you,,so take a a hour or longer and go visit her grave,,, good luck and god bless,,

    seexxymama4u2me

    Answer by seexxymama4u2me at 9:09 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • aww, hugs. ♥
    KnoxvilleDoula

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 9:12 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • I lost my daughter when she was 8mths 22 days. She would have been 23 this October. For eight years after her passing, I kinda wasn't here. Just going through the motions cause I had two other children to care for. But then one day I was ready to let her go. I took her trunk with all of her stuff in it, opened it and took out one thing. this stupid plastic elephant that jingled when it rocked. I have no idea why she smiled so much when she saw that thing, but it now is in my china cabinet. I remember I would cross the street when I saw another baby or run (literally). I can't tell you what triggered my heart to let go, but it just did. I used to hate it when people would ask, how many children do you have? I would burst out into tears. I now have a granddaughter named after her. I thought it would be weird, but they are two different people that happen to have the same name. I love them both.

    Star419

    Answer by Star419 at 9:41 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • I lost my son three weeks away from due day.It is hard but it does seem to get a little easier to think about and talk about. Nathan would be 6 on Nov.22,2008.This is always a very hard day for me but I believe that God does things for a reason.We don't always understand them but trust that He knows best.Love and strength to you.
    meademom

    Answer by meademom at 10:11 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

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