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9 Bumps

What is the purpose of marriage? Do you think that marriage is an out of date institution?


Asked by 35yoamom at 9:57 PM on Dec. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (10,016 Credits)
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Answers (22)
  • I like David Schnarch's take on it: marriage is an opportunity to grow up for real --much like parenting is (or can be, if running away from growing up isn't the main goal in life).

    The struggles people experience are the things we need to grow up about --accept our powerlessness, wear our power, forgive, accept, recognize the whole, complex humanity of another...

    It always feels much more acceptable to us to get our own way, to persist in our 4yo attitude that our suffering is much worse than everyone else's, we have it harder, we should have it easy... but no joy lies in that direction, anymore than joy lives in a nice, stress-free and utterly unchallenging coma.

    Most people say 'I know, I know, challenges are better' and still avoid them, evade them, try to coerce others to keep them away, try to control others to hold them off... Marriage is (one way) to compel ourselves to accept the growth.

    Answer by LindaClement at 10:06 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • It's purpose is to choose someone to grow old with and share life with, when you choose correctly the journey is a wonderful one, and no this institution will never be outdated.

    Answer by older at 9:59 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I think marriage is a choice and not for everyone. In my case I am committed to spending my life with the most wonderful man I have ever met.

    Answer by voni681 at 9:59 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Marriage itself is not an outdated institution, but I think people don't respect it as they used to. Now, people get married after days of knowing each other, enter into marriage without thinking of what the vows really mean, and then when it gets tough "Oh well, I will get a divorce". Marriage isn't SACRED anymore, to a majority of people. Its just something else to do... never mind its a LIFELONG commitment.
    The purpose of marriage is to make a vow to someone you love, that you are willing to be there for each other for the rest of your lives.. up and downs.. good and bad. Its a way of declaring your love for one another and sharing in that commitment for the rest of your lives.
    Marriage is a really big deal to me, and I don't believe in divorce. A vow is a vow, unless you are both willing to keep to your vows, don't get married.

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 10:50 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I do not think that it is out of date. To me it is to signify the uniting of two souls to weather the tides of life together. The ups and down, the joys of children, grandchildren and old age. It is a bond that is not mean to be broken.

    Answer by Melbornj at 10:02 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Marriage is a way to celebrate being in love with the one person you're in love with. It's a way of making public that you love this one person. If you're not married and something happens the person you're dating or living with isn't considered next of kin. I love being married. For me it brought my dh and myself closer. There's just a different bond between married couples and dating couples.

    Answer by bseastrand at 10:04 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • As far as the government recognizing our marriage, that's just a convenience. Makes a lot of things easier. But my marriage was made as a commitment before God, that we would love and cherish each other until death. I don't think it's outdated, and think it's a very important part of our relationship.

    Answer by montanagal2005 at 10:08 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • The purpose caries from couple to couple, I think. For me and my husband, it was our way of saying to each other, God,and everyone else that we choose to be together for life. We both take it very seriously. We're going through a slightly rough spot right because we rarely see each other, but we know we'll make it through it. I just know it.

    And to be honest, I don't think that marriage is really all that necessary, though. If two people love each other, they can definitely be together for life without having a Marriage Certificate. We didn't NEED to get married to prove our love to each other, but we wanted to anyways. :)

    Outdated? Nah.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 10:13 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • The purpose of marriage in today's society is to afford legal and medical power to one spouse in the case of emergency or under other need... Do I think it's "out of date"? yes and no. For legal and medical reasons, no, I like knowing if something happens to my husband that I have the right to step n and make choices for him and that he has those rights for me. Beyond that, do I see it as any more necessary than living together? Nope.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 10:00 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Personally, getting married is only good for government reasons, like taxes.

    When you get married nothing changes, you and your to be spouse do not change at all if you get married.

    It seems over rated to me.
    And besides more couples end up in a divorce. It is harder to divorce then break up

    Answer by AbsoluteSelf at 10:02 PM on Dec. 1, 2010