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I need a little guidence i guess you could call it....

My husband and i lost our 2nd daugther in Feb to Trisomy 18. We have been trying to get pregnant since June and nothing. I have always said i dont want a winter baby, i live in PA and it gets cold here. My birthday is in Nov and i hate it, i cant do anything out doors because its too cold, so growing up i always had to limit my friends to just about family because my parties were inside, not to mention around Thanksgiving which we all know is the start of the holidays so i always felt like i was brushed under the carpet because things were getting hetic. So i decided to maybe stop trying, but now that i have gotten my birth control, i feel like maybe i am making the wrong decision. My hubby is fine with whatever i decide, i just dont know! plus i kept EVERYTHING down to the last sock my daugters, and i feel like we would be starting over if we would have a girl because she is a May baby. I guess i just want to know an outsiders thoughts. do you think i should keep trying? are my reasons for holding off til summer selfish? UGH i wish someone would just slap me and give the answers! Please dont be rude, i am a grow woman not a girl, i just feel lost with the death of my daughter and now getting pregnant, in the last 6 months i feel as if something is wrong with me that i cant get pregnant! our insurance doesnt cover any infertility, but that is how we had to have our 1st daughter but got pregnant natural with our 2nd after 4 months of trying. thoughts?!?! should i stop or no?

Answer Question

Asked by babymaddy at 10:50 PM on Dec. 1, 2010 in Trying to Conceive

Level 12 (888 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Well if you got pregnant now you would have summer baby. My son was concieved thanksgiving weekend and his due date was August 23. I definitely wouldn't go on birth control if you are having problems getting pregnant. Just avoid your fertile dates in the spring months if not having a winter baby is that important.

    Answer by karamille at 10:54 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • If you feel pulled to keep trying, do it. Only you can know when the right time is and it may have nothing to do with the time of year.

    As for infertility, most of the time we get so stressed out that we stop paying attention to the signs that our body gives to tell us when we are fertile. I would recommend charting. Basal body temp, cervical position and cervical mucous.

    Temp will tell you if you have ovulated
    Cervical position will tell you when ovulation is coming
    Mucous will tell you if you are fertile enough to keep sperm alive long enough to reach your egg.

    A great read is Taking Charge of your Fertility by Toni Weschler. If you don't get pregnant in a year, the charts are a great resource for your doctor since lack of mucous is a different treatment than not releasing an egg.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:56 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • And something else to consider... my son's birthday is actually mid july (came 6wks early) and we have a heck of a time getting friends to his parties because they are all busy with family vactions, T-ball, soccer, etc... There's no perfect time to have a baby.

    Answer by karamille at 10:56 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Do what is right in your heart. Maybe taking a little break will be a good thing.. "making a baby" will be fun again, with no pressure. you can always stop your birth control at anytime remember :)

    Answer by ashjacks4 at 10:56 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • First I am so sorry for your loss, no one should every have to deal with such an awful thing!
    And this will really be no help to you but you just need to do what you feel is right for yourself and your family.
    Good luck!

    Answer by klpeter at 10:57 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • I don't think that if you are having trouble getting pregnant that you should put it off. And like someone said, if you got pg now it would be a summer baby. There is no bad time to have a baby, unless you are not emotionally ready after all that you have been through. Maybe you just need time to grieve. Then just go with the flow and allow nature to take its course.

    Answer by CarriePM at 11:07 PM on Dec. 1, 2010

  • Birth control is the LAST thing you should do if you are planning to TTC soon. Birth control can stay in your system for up to 6 months after you take the last pill.

    I personally would just keep trying but that's just me.

    Answer by miasmommy21407 at 12:36 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

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