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My son wants to play with me ALL day!

I have a 3.5 year old boy and a 21 month old girl, my daughter is awesome and LOVES to play by herself and can do so for hours, but also loves to be played with and ready to. My son, on the other hand, has always been the baby and was the first born so I spent WAY more one on one time with him. From the moment he gets out of bed he is saying "mommy you play with me?", "mommy you play cars with me", etc. etc. etc. I can't even sit down, relax and drink my coffee in the morning, he won't watch cartoons, he just wants to play ALL day and with me. I do play with him A LOT, but I am a SAHM and I have other responsibilities as well and I feel guilty when I'm doing the dishes or laundry and he is just standing there asking me to play with him. :( I tell him "go play while I do the dishes then we will play together" and nope, he will NOT leave my side. What can I do to make him more independent and able to play ALONE? Or with his sister!?

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Asked by AverysMommy5 at 12:36 AM on Dec. 2, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 3 (20 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • busy momits so dang cute, this coming from the mother of teens,,,but I think every mom goes through this at some point. You must be a really fun mom in play time for him to keep asking like he does. With Christmas coming, what are some new games and toys you could get him that are more independent playtime for him? Maybe brand new stuff from Santa will peek his curiosity to branch out and have independent playtime. But im with you, you do need to get stuff done too


    Answer by beyondhopes at 12:46 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • Oh man I have tried everything, we bought him a "Big Buzz" thinking that would keep him plenty occupied by himself and he just wants ME to play with it for him and he watch me play, lol.... he is more of a "looker" and is more curious as to how others play and what others are doing.

    Comment by AverysMommy5 (original poster) at 12:51 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • Sometimes kids need to be "taught" how to play by themselves. Start out small. Sit down with him the night before and talk to him. Tell him that we are going to play some new games together tomorrow and there will also be surprises. Tell him the first surprise will come AFTER you get 10 minutes in the morning for your coffee. Show him 10 minutes on a timer and the next day set the timer. Put it where you can see it, but away from you and have him watch the time and let you know when your coffee break is over (when the timer goes off). If he didn't bother you - but minded the timer give him a surprise. (A sticker - something he will like). Then set the timer for 20 minutes and say we will now play XYZ together for 20 minutes but when the timer goes off, I have to do my chores. When the timer goes off, you set the timer for 20 minutes and tell him to let you know when your chore time is done and if he is good and lets you do

    Answer by Babylove76 at 2:08 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • your work without interrupting you before the timer goes off, give him another sticker. When he gets 5 stickers, he gets to pick a prize from a prize bucket. These can be a mixture of toys from the Dollar Store that he will like. Each time you play with him - keep it at 20 minutes, but each time you set the timer for your chore time make it a little longer. Every time he does let you do what you need to do without interrupting you, along with a sticker give him a hug and a high 5 saying I KNEW you could do it! I knew you could be a good boy and play while you wait for mommy! Build up his confidence. He will get it quickly. Timers are a very useful tool with this age, especially boys and their inbred need to "race". After a day or two of your games and prizes, scale back on the prizes by adding how many stickers needed to get one. Add one more to the 5, then 2, then 3 and so on. HTH GL!!

    Answer by Babylove76 at 2:08 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • If it's work time (for you) then it is work time for him, too.
    Give him the laundry and have him discover all the washcloths, then fold them.
    He could have a pan with soap in the sink and a sponge to "wash dishes" too.
    I can't always be play time and he's at an age where he can have his own level of "chores" to keep him busy and "help" as well.

    Answer by doulala at 2:09 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • My son is an only child and has ZERO independant skills.. not only that he is like a little "KING" he would still let you feed him if you would do it ( we don't ) but I am trying to get him to do things by himself but he puts up a fight and zero effort goes in to things.. no matter how many times I won't do things for him or for how long.. he IS and will be an only child though lol!~ so maybe its not as hard for me being I don't have to divide my time

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:33 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

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