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2 Bumps

Is your child's father allowed to parent?

Do you let him participate in day to day caretaking, or do you consider it babysitting when he watches the kids? Do you allow him to do things the way he wants in terms of feeding, clothing, helping with school, or do you expect him to do things the way you do them, and if not, he's doing it wrong? Are there regular parts of your routine that are his responsibility, or do you handle all child care responsibilities and he's just there to play and threaten discipline?

Curious because of those answers from the other question about how they don't think it's "real work". Have they ever been allowed to actually DO the work to see it, or are they "not allowed" in your home?

Answer Question

Asked by NotPanicking at 8:29 AM on Dec. 2, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 51 (421,174 Credits)
Answers (36)
  • most definitely. We're equal partners 50/50.

    We don't live by gender roles set by a society thats still thinks its 1965 in that parenting regard.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 8:31 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • In our house DH does...the kids may look a little crazy but....they are happy, clean and safe!

    Answer by rebeccadac at 8:32 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • I work part time so he has no choice!! He called it babysitting once... my reply... "When it's your child it's not called babysitting, it's called parenting!!" I even heard him saying that to his own mother once when she asked if he was babysitting!!! LOL

    It took a lot for me to back off and not expect him to do everything thing my way. As long as the end result is the same I don't care how he gets it done now. He does homework with one b/c I work in the afternoon and some evenings. It has been good for him... he sees that it's hard, and sometimes says his (paying) job is easier. But, as a result he and the kids have a great relationship, and for that I am grateful ;o)


    Answer by Crafty26 at 8:37 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • yeah I don't like it when women think they have to do everything and won't let anyone help then complain that the DH does nothing. Its like wtf do you want then?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:39 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • We're equal partners - my job is a SAHM, he has his outside job. There are things I take care of, only because it has to be dealt with immediately, but the decisions on how to run our home, discipline the kids, etc. is truly a joint decision. My DH appreciates what I do, he knows it's not easy. When he helps me with things, I never tell him he's doing it wrong, I appreciate that he's trying to help. He never "babysits," he's a parent not a babysitter.

    Answer by Scuba at 8:39 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • Yes he does parent. His style is a bit more lax than mine. It's 50/50 with us.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:39 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • My husband was the lead parent when our children were growing up. He was interested in every aspect of their lives and he handled a lot of the discipline issues. He was a diaper changer. Now he's the one who volunteers to feed the grandbabies so their mommies can enjoy their dinner, and he still changes their diapers. I guess maybe he was ahead of the times in that regard.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:44 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • As a SAHM, of course I do a majority of the caretaking for the kids. But when hubby comes home he plays with them, changes diapers, picks up after them, ect while I am making dinner. We have always done bath time together all 4 of us so it's kind of a routine for us. On the weekends we share the responsibilities. I don't expect him to do EVERYTHING the way that I do it but there are certain things where I feel that he needs to so that we can be on the same page. Mostly talking about discipline and feeding them. If it were up to him he'd probably go for a quick, not so healthy snack, so that he can avoid the "work" that is put into making them something to eat..That's something I wo;; def correct him on.

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 8:45 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • My husband is a very involved dad and has been since day 1. When we were dating I worked a lot of nights and he took care of my kids, so I knew he would be a good dad to ours. He is the one who has always gotten up in the mornings with our 2 year old and fed and changed him and usually gives him his bath. When something needs to be done, it falls to whichever one of us is less busy at the moment - we can both handle whatever needs to be done.

    Answer by missanc at 9:04 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • He is just as involved in the parenting as I am. I couldn't have had children with a man that didn't want to participate in every aspect of their lives. My husband is the type that feels bad when doesn't do enough. I have to get on to him and tell him to stop and rest because he's been working all day. We try to help each other out and double team everything.

    Answer by mommaT1983 at 9:13 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

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