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What should I do about my five year old who kicks screams and scratches when she does not get her way in the morning?

I have three daughters, two who go to school. I lay there clothes out at night and have everything ready so thet mornings are easy. My five year old has gotton to where she will not listen. This morning she didnt want to wear her shirt because it has words on it even though she has worn it many times before. We didnt have time to change before the bus so I said she had to wear it. She tried to take it off any way. Well then it became a power struggle I put thr shirt back on and told her she had to wear it , as i was doing this she kicked screamed scratched and bit me. What should I do I cant acconidate her every time she doesnt get her way. Also its hard to do anything about it no time for dicipline before school.

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Asked by KryssyL at 8:32 AM on Dec. 2, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • time outs and removing priveledges and not giving in to her.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 8:33 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • Sounds like she needs and old fashioned spanking to me

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:39 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • Maybe to avoid the drama, have your kiddos help you pick out what they want to wear the night before? That way if she has a problem with it you can remind her that SHE picked it! But aside from that, the bitting and scratching and kicking should NEVER be tolerated. My daughter hasn't done that since she was 2 years old (she's almost 4 now), but she knows she'd get a little pop on the butt and go to timeout. We also do take things away. Before sending her to school i'd tell her when she comes home there will be NO watching TV or playing outside afterwards.

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 8:56 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • First off.. you need to get it strait in your own head... ARE YOU OR AREN'T YOU THE PARENT? If you decide the answer is YES, I AM THE PARENT.. THEN When she gets home sit her fanny in a chair in the most boring place in your home.. and say.. 5 mins for biting/hitting mommy this morning.. Set the timer and walk away! Stay close enough to catch her getting up as you know she will.. and THEN GO BACK PLACE HER BACK IN HER SEAT.. SAY TIME STARTS OVER EVERY TIME YOU GET UP.. RE-SET THE TIMER.. AND WALK AWAY AGAIN.. keep at it till she knows your in charge.. or time is up.. Then go to her say do you know what you did.. if she can answer you correctly say "I love you sweety but this will not be accepted again.. " And give her a hug.. then let her go play..
    Tomorrow morning when she gets up.. Remind her.. You will sit for 5 mins again if you don't behave.. Lets have a good morning ok?

    Answer by 2boys4momma at 9:07 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • Let her pick out her own clothes the night before. Give her a choice of 2-3 items and let her decide. But you need to lay down the law about what is and is NOT allowed in your home. If you don't get a handle on that behavior at 5, imagine what she'll be like at 15! Consequences for bad behavior MUST be strictly enforced EVERY TIME and the child has to count on them. She needs boundaries. She needs consequences for crossing that boundary. Tell her what the consequence will be next time and when there is a next time FOLLOW THRU! Don't threaten what you know you will not do--it undermines you before you even start. If you threaten to take away a toy, then it's gotta GO.

    Reward good behavior! Catch her doing something nice and complement her or hug her for it. She'll learn to crave that attention and do the behavior to get it. Know that she will test your resolve. It's her job. Mama needs a backbone the kids trust.

    Answer by SimplyLaine at 9:20 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • i agree with ctink. let her choose her own clothes the night before. if she has a problem with them in the morning, remind her that it was her choice.
    at 5, you may want to provide her with two things to choose from. too many choices may be overwhelming.
    also, be sure to have lots of time in the morning to deal with power struggles.
    a kitchen timer is handy. you have 10 minutes to get dressed. you have 4 minutes to brush your teeth.

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 9:22 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • How about letting her lay out all her clothes for the week. They have great hanging organizers for the closets and she can plan according to what day it is. Art day a shirt she wouldn't mind getting paint on (I use the same shirt each art day for my son) and appropriate clothes for gym days, ect.... But she decides. She grabs from each day in the mornings. Underwear, socks, and accessories all picked out.  I also let my son play for 10 minutes before we start getting dressed.  I make sure to be up and ready (and I am NOT a morning person) so that we can have a relaxed morning.  He gets to choose his breakfast the night before out of two choice, I lay out his bowl, his cereal or plate depending on what he picked.  We do brush our teeth as a family for a two minute scrub down (they two minutes for the teeth at least).  This way it is adults and the child together.  We dance, sing while brushing


    Answer by frogdawg at 10:34 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • and have a little party time in the bathroom. We don't really do timers but I can see how that could help when your little one is being pokey. But because we wake in time to do a lot of extra playing...we don't run out of time. I also have some cuddle time in the morning. He climbs into bed with us and gets to be tickled and joke with him. It helps to establish a good mood. On days he cries I often hold him for a little while. It is usually for one or two reasons: frustration or he is not feeling well. Either way we talk it through or I decide he's not feeling well and I need to keep him home. He also does personal space where if he is upset or annoyed at me he goes to his room to calm down and calls us in when he is ready. You will find what works for her and you.  Experiment around and see what works and doesn't.


    Answer by frogdawg at 10:40 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • I agree with others on having her help choose clothing the night before, but I also wonder if maybe she needs more sleep? If she is so cranky and combative in the morning she could still be tired.

    Answer by KTMOM at 9:22 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Your hand on her bottom is what she needs.

    Answer by Shannon706 at 3:29 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

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