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bad afternoon and morning with my 8 year old

Well we had a horrible afternoon yesterday and it continued into this morning.
Our son came home with a 67 on his math practice test. When we were discussing the ones that he missed he was able to tell me the correct answers before i could even finish reading the problem to him. He is a smart boy that's not the problem he just would rather rush and get done so that he can get to recess or here at home to watching tv. We are also struggling with the taking responsibility for his things. He is our only child so we are guilty of doing things for him but am wanting to start working on his taking responsibility for his things. He left for school this morning in tears so I'm sure he will come home with a check mark or we will probably get a call from his teacher today. He couldn't find his gloves and we have told him to put them with his coat so he knows where they are but he of course didn't and i didn't help him look for them. We are limiting his tv time and he has to have all homework done before it's tv time. Any other suggestions.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:38 AM on Dec. 2, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (9)
  • yes, make sure when he leaves and you have a tiff in the morning.

    You always say, I love you, give him lots of hugs, and tell him you will both have a better afternoon...

    Sounds like a typical 8 year old, I have 3 of them now, and my son is just turning 7.... You sound like you know what your doing, continue doing what your doing and eventually he will get the hang of it. I am doing that now with all my kids. We live and learn, and so do they....Good luck!!!!!

    Answer by KFree907 at 9:45 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • We have "homework time" that lasts for 30 mins no matter what. If you finish your homework then you read until the 30 mins is up....that might make him not rush to get done.

    Answer by cakright at 9:54 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • cakright i like that idea! Make sure he gets plenty of sleep and is rewarded when he is responsible. I have a list of things my dd needs to do in the morning (now she knows) but she used to check the list-run and put on shoes- run back and check the list again. then I didnt have to tell her what to do next. Have him lay out his stuff the night before as well.

    Answer by ria7 at 10:04 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • I would print out some timed math tests and practice with him at home, ask him to do the tests and you showing him how to double check his answers even if he finishes really fast.

    A consistent bedtime also makes a big difference in performance.

    He needs a couple of daily chores to help him with the responsibility. I was an only child. I have a just 9 year old son. So, I can relate. My son has to water the horse when her water is low, feed the horse every single day after school, put new garbage bags in the bins when I take out the trash, he makes his bed every morning and he has to vacuum his room as needed.

    For us, homework is immediate as soon as he is home, and tv is a reward, but limited to 1 hour of tv or wii games.

    What you are describing is quite normal but it is important to provide structure and chores too. And for an only child, the more socialization and competitive activities for him, the better!


    Answer by spottedpony at 2:55 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • I make sure my kids do all of their homework the minute we walk in the door from school. They are not allowed to do anything else, but their homework until it's all done. Then I check their homework and get them a snack.

    Also I would have a conference with his teacher to see if she can identify the problems he may be having. For a short time at the beginning of this school year our daughter was getting poor grades on her reading tests. This was baffling to me because I know that she reads very well and the answers were right there in the reading, so there was no reason to miss the answers. After talking to the teacher she said that my daughter and her best friend, who sat right next to her, seemed to be 'racing' to see who would finish first. Since then the girls have been split up and we have put a lot of emphasis on checking her work and taking her time. She has all A's now.

    Answer by slw123 at 4:58 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • Part of it is, I think, just the age. I have some of the same issues with my 8 year old boy - rushing through work, not looking through again. I'm trying with his teacher to institute some method for him to show he's checking his work. He's always so sure he's right. H has said "But I know how to do this!" and I keep explaining that if he doesn't show his teacher he can, she won't know.

    My son is our only child too, and I do too much for him also. I think so much of it is about structure - all the ideas about a definite homework time, consistent bed time, etc. are all great suggestions.

    We started out the year with a lot of the same things you've talked about - my son in tears and me feeling awful because I felt like I had set him up to have a bad day...again. I've really had to calm myself down about it and spend a lot of time talking about WHY it is important to do well in school.

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 4:30 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • A lot of it is just age, boys have a harder time sitting still and not rushing through things, so try not to be too hard on him.

    Answer by KTMOM at 9:21 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Thank you again everyone for the advice. Just needed to be reminded that it is just his age. For the most part he is a good kid and then when he has these melt downs and power struggle days it is just frustrating. Thanks again and i will take all advice into consideration and use the suggestions

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:27 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • So far you're doing great.....he has understand it's about responsibility and its not about mom or dad being mean. Families need structure so thats a good start, if he does as he's told you could honor it with a little extra tv time etc but also dont want him doing anything well just get awarded for it. You go girl and yr hubby also.... keep up the good work!

    Answer by mstropics at 2:13 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

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