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2 Bumps

Pregnant and dont know what to do! In need of serious advice

I just found out that I am about 5 weeks pregnant and this is totally unexpected., I do not know what to do. financially I am not ready for another child (currently have 3 yr daughter) The thought of having another is scary. Fiancially I will be able to make it but it will be a bit of a challenege. My main concern is my family. I am 25 graduated college already on my own but they are so against me having another child with my daughters father adn having a child or children out of wedlock. This man is not someone I really want to spend the rest of my life with. I love him to death but he is not right for me. and being single keeps me drawn to him even more. but NOW I have a baby that is growig in my stomach. The only reason I would consider abortion is buecause of my family. I made a promise to myself and God at one point in my life that I would NEVER do that . I am constantly thinking of it now and how my life would be better if I did have it. I would be able to advance my career save money and my family. At the same time I will live a life of regret and heartache and destroying MY own for others sake. At times I seem like I have had my mind made up and other times I am not sure and so confused. I just need some advice and or some words of encouragement.

This is not a troll question if you can not be mature and answer Id rather no answers at all. Some people tend to think some situations are impossible to go through and therefore are troll questions when people post them. This is a very difficult time for me and would appreciate respect.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on Dec. 2, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (15)
  • I would never ever abort my child, especially b/c of others opinions or ideas. If I felt like I just could NOT handle another one, I would choose adoption. There are so many couples out there who have struggled and tried to have babies for years and can not...why abort, when that child could have a beautiful happy life?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • Honey, personally I'd never go through an abortion, but I can understand some people have valid reasons for not wanting to go through with a pregnancy. I don't think money should play a roll in your decision at all. There is always something you can do to make enough money or get by (there's state assistance, if nothing else.) The question you should be asking is, can you provide this child with a safe and loving home? With or without the father, or your family. And if you do decide to terminate the pregnancy, realize that you may have trouble having children in the future, and that you may regret it. There is always adoption, as well. Whatever you decide, I'm sure it will be the right decision for you. Good luck!

    Answer by BisketLiss at 10:17 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • It should be only your decision if you want to have an abortion. I would just say that you shouldn't think so much of what your family will think. They are your family and should love you regardless of your choices. I believe everything happens for a reason and God wouldn't give you anything you couldn't handle. Take the time to think about it because it is a HUGE decision.

    Answer by mlmad21 at 10:17 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • I'm going to apologize now for the nasty comments you will be getting but I'm not one to judge. But I agree with the adoption thing. At least give the child life. I know it'll be hard to give the child away but just think of what the child could become.

    Answer by iluvmm09 at 10:18 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult time. Yes, babies are blessings and it's a miracle, however at the same time not everyone who is pregnant is happy about it and just magically feels like it's the "luckiest thing to have happened to them". Even planned pregnancies can sometimes make someone feel scared and trapped... so imagine an unplanned one can have the same feelings and worse. In your question, you said something that was very powerful: "the same time I will live a life of regret and heartache and destroying MY own for others sake." An abortion is not an easy decision to make and it has lifelong consequences.... the regret andt he sadness is something that may affect you for life. If you are willing to take those consequences because it's what YOU really want- that's one thing. But please don't feel pushed into a corner because of your family. I'ts your body - your life. your decisions -

    Answer by Mamma2E at 10:18 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • I wanted to add I know how scary pregnancy is. I was pregnant at 14 and I knew just how hard it was going to be but that didn't and doesn't stop me even today.

    Answer by iluvmm09 at 10:19 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • ....I'ts your body - your life. your decisions - and if you make a decison to abort, it's YOU who'll face the consequence and not them. I know you're scared and I promise you it will get better. Just take a deep breath and take a moment to pray about it. I promise you, if u listen to your heart you'll maket he right decision. when making it though, just make it for yourself only. everyone in your family has made their own decisions/ mistakes/ choices, so just give yourself a chance to make your own choices.

    Answer by Mamma2E at 10:20 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • I would just wait it out until you calm down. And no I don't think you should abort for the others they don't matter only you do it has to be your choice and you have to be completely ok with it. Maybe there is someone you can talk to who would be unbiased in this issue. However, I do agree with pp adoption is a wonderful option! Just wait until the initail shock wears off and don't forget you have to tell the father, he has every right to know as well as have an input in what your choice will be. Good Luck and just breath I to just found out I am pregnant (7 weeks), and this makes baby number 3! total shock so I understand the panic.

    Answer by lovemybaby283 at 10:22 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • Hugs!!! Have you told the father? It is his child too  he has a responsibility to you and the child and it sounds like you can use some emotional support right now as well. As for your family they need to realize you are an adult and some of the choices you make may not be ones they 'approve' of, but it is your life and they need to back off and let you life your life as you see fit. In regard to the baby whether it be give it up for adoption, keep it or have an abortion--- it is YOUR decision and you need to do what you feel is best for you and not do what others think is best for you. Follow your own heart and be true to yourself. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best and hope everything works out!!


    Answer by MizLee at 10:24 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • I terminated a pregnancy two years ago. I promised myself that I would never do that, but that was before I was put into a messy situation. Yes, I'm sad about it (because I would have loved to have the baby). But, the consequences would have been devastating. Thinking back, if I had to reconsider again, yes I will re-do the abortion. The gossip about me and the father, and the likelihood of job loss is too much to consider.

    Answer by BlueSaphire at 10:28 AM on Dec. 2, 2010

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