I'm going to lunch today with a friend that I've known for 30 years, since I was 15 and when I was about 17 we dated for about 15 minutes but he never floated my boat and he's been a family friend ever since. Anyhow, last year when my husband cheated my friend called me one day out of the blue to see what's up in my life and I blubbered like a fool and he patiently and caringly listened. After I finished he said, "well...sweetie you deserve so much better. You deserve to be treated like a queen...(long pause) you know, I've never stopped loving you?"...I almost fell off my chair. Here's the thing...he's been married for 20some years with three kids. Very nice women but she treats him like one of the kids. Anyhow, that's neither here nor there because the bottom line is that he IS married and so am I and anyhow I'm still not interested in him THAT way even if we were single. So, last year and kinda touched on that lightly and he never mentioned it again. When we were making plans about getting together today he said something like "why not a nice picnic at sunset?"...I vetoed that idea for a loud, noisy, public sushi place. My dilema is this, I cherish his friendship and other than that comment he's never been out of line or gross in any way...but what if today he says something about "anything" on those lines...how do I handle this delicately so as not to bash him? And ladies...please don't bash me.
Answer by spottedpony at 11:56 AM on Dec. 2, 2010
I am not bashing, but I am going to be honest. If you go with this man today, you are cheating on your husband. That man has feelings for you, even if you do not have feelings for him. Continuing to engage in any kind of a relationship with him is cheating in my book. I would not go.
Answer by dancinintherain at 11:40 AM on Dec. 2, 2010
Answer by Ctink8189 at 11:53 AM on Dec. 2, 2010
Answer by HELP767 at 11:53 AM on Dec. 2, 2010
Answer by LindaClement at 11:38 AM on Dec. 2, 2010
Answer by ohwrite at 11:38 AM on Dec. 2, 2010
Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:39 AM on Dec. 2, 2010
Answer by chocolatluver at 11:46 AM on Dec. 2, 2010
By having lunch with him you're taking your chances of him pursuing you. The sad think is your husband probably said the same things this man is saying to another women. You can take your chance and go to lunch but you have to expect the worst. Throw him out the water and say "Your married and my husband was married when he told someone the same thing." That'll keep him from saying things like that but also he'll respect you for it.
Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on Dec. 2, 2010
Next question overall
what do you think of bridal plasty the new reality show?