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How do i handle this?

I am a young mother(24) with a 17 month old son... his father and i have been together for 51/2 years. I don't doubt that my bf still loves me but i don't know if it's the same kind of love we had before my son was born. I obviously know relationships change but...he always nags me about not losing the baby weight, we hardly ever have sex, he works full time (at night) leaving my son and i at home by ourselves, i work part time and go to school full time, he complains that i don't do enough around the house, we rarely have family time and when the opportunity arises, he is quick to want to hang with friends(understandable)
I don't really know what my question is... i'm worried that things have changed too much... I love him very much and i couldn't picture myself with anyone else, but it seems like all we do is argue or worse (we are mute). I just need advice.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:35 PM on Nov. 5, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • uh huh
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Oh my goodness I am in the same situation except I'm still pregnant, I'm just counting down the days til I wake up and realize he's not going to change!Hqng in there I know exactly how u feel.
    Sarah0306

    Answer by Sarah0306 at 10:41 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Your not happy with yourself and he's not happy that your not happy with yourself. You've lost your joy and if you don't get it back right after you lose him, your gonna lose your mind, you'll get it back eventually, but in the mean time, it's gonna be tough...I know, I was there.
    Star419

    Answer by Star419 at 10:44 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • don't' do anything around the house {dealing with his stuff} and make sure to tell him if he wants to hang with his boys, you get to hang with your boys. He just needs to know you don't need him if he's going to be a useless asshole.
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 10:44 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Sounds like the two of you need to sit down and talk.I think it would help if the two of you came to an agreement on who will do what around the house and any expectations that go with it. Then try to reach a reasonable compromise that both of you can live with. My husband and I were going through the same thing until I finally tols him how little/neglected/worhtless his words made me feel. I also pointed out that I don't tell him how to do his job; so he shouldn't tell me how to do mine (as long as it gets done). Also let him know (and you remember too) that praise goes alot farther than nagging!! Good Luck.
    gwood

    Answer by gwood at 10:45 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • communication is the key have you all talked about the problems you feel you are having???maybe he will be willing to try to come half way and work things out but if he is not making an effort IDK what to say, sometimes me and my SO don't communicate and thats not good because we dont know how each other is feeling but when we do we both try to put in effort to help keep us together
    tatalalicious

    Answer by tatalalicious at 10:49 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Havin you spoken with him about it? Just like tatalalicious said "cummunication is the key". The only way to know is to talk to him and then you all could possibly make things better


    :)
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 12:24 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • That sounds like my life story,The same things were happening to me but my mistke was not sitting down with him and tryin to figure out a solution. We always argued and if we didnt arhue we didnt talk it seemed like. Unfortunately we arent together right now, but he told me after the break up that if we could have communicated better and we could have focused on the little things that we could have done we wouldn have sweat the big stuff so much. I guess what Im tryin to say is that the little things are what counts most. After you put your son to bed one weekend sit down and just talk like you used to or find a sitter and just go for a drive. If he wants to go with his friends let him, they concider that a stress reliever, buy ask him to be home a couple hours before he goes to work and take your son to the park or play with him outside.
    loving_mom08

    Answer by loving_mom08 at 12:51 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

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