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i am so lost right now.

i remember when my life was a dream come true, i had the man of my dreams 2 awesome kids. now i just feel like im wasting my life, im so unhappy, all dh does is complain about nething and everything.i fel like i never do nething right. he is always telling me to do this that way or do that this way and he bitches at me when i burn the food which is very often. he tells me that i cant depend on myself because i ask him for help sometimes. he is always sayong how he does everything for every1 here and the only damn thing he does for us is go to work. i know goin to work is a big deal and im glad he allows me to stay home w/ the kids but he thinks just cuz im a sahm that he doesnt have to clean up after himself i dont mind picked up after my family but when he takes his clothes off next to the happer and just leaves them on the floor it pisses me off. and after i clean the kitchen hell go adn make so kind of mess and not clean it up. and if i ask him to take out the trash it will sit where i put it till either i bitch him out about it or i take it and what gets me about the trash is that he walks by the dumpster 4 times a fuckin day!!!. im gettin to the point to where im starting tohate him. i dont wanna hate him i do love him but he is the biggest fucking asshole i have ever met. and when he gets pissed he tells me how all i do is waste his life and im just basicly a peice of shit and hes only w/ my cuz of the kids and all this shit, and then when hes not mad nemore hell tell me he loves me never really saying hes sorry fo what he said. and i dont know waht to beilve ne more.

 
mamasmurf171

Asked by mamasmurf171 at 3:50 PM on Dec. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (973 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • That kind of sounds like my husband sometimes he'll bitch cus nothing is done when he gets home from work and sometimes ill make him do it on purpose but the whole time hes doing it hes bitching at me i think its mainly stress from work and my husband would throw his uniform for work like that on the floor sometimes i know exactly how you feel it pisses me off too try not to nag or bitch at him when he gets home from work or when he nags and bitches at you just ignore it dont say nothing back i know how hard that is not to say nothing back but try your hardest to not say nothing act like you dont care and he'll start acting right i do that with my husband all the time hope this helps :)
    alexia_09

    Answer by alexia_09 at 3:59 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • Here's my thoughts based solely on what you have shared.... and.... my personal experiences.

    Sounds like:
    1) You both feel unappreciated for what all you do for your family. This causes resentments/hurt feelings on both parts which leads to fighting, and both defending themselves and their contributions/pointing out their contributions instead of both of you appreciating /pointing out the others' contributions. This needs to change or the feelings you both are feeling now will continue to grow and poisen your marriage/feelings for one another.
    2) You both have difficulty affectively/honestly/openly/safely communicating your feelings about your marital issues with one another. Being able to communicate AFFECTIVELY is a must have in any relationship. So learning how to communicate on each other's levels needs to happen.

    Again. Just my thoughts based solely on what you shared in this post.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:59 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • Sounds like you both are very unhappy and nit-picking every little problem. Counseling? Either that or you both need to learn some patience. If you're a stay at home mom then sure, cleaning, cooking, taking care of kids is your job but you also need to realize that his Job, however tedious or not it may be, affords you to stay at home which is a luxary we can't all afford. Be more pro-active in your "job" as a wife and mother and take control. If your biggest issues is you can't cook, learn. I've been divorced twice, grass isn't greener trust me. Stop whining about it and do something about it.
    VanessaMomof2

    Answer by VanessaMomof2 at 4:05 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • Reading that back it sounds so mean.... what I'm trying to get across is that you will only take eachother for granted if you continue this cycle and if you DO love eachother and want it to work, there will have to be changes. Men are like children and will not change until they see one in you. Approach the situation differently, change your attitude towards him and I guarantee he will change his too....It drives me crazy to see such small problems in a marriage that can be fixed if 2 stubborn people would just try harder....
    VanessaMomof2

    Answer by VanessaMomof2 at 4:17 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • I would either be getting counseling, attempting a home counseling type of thing, leaving his sorry ass or maybe you both need some serious time alone away froma ll the responsibility.
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 4:18 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

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