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How would you handle my screwed up situation?

I am surrounded by homophobes (I think that's the right term for people who don't like gays?). I am straight, but I have no problem with gay people - one of the people who helped me the most through my first pregnancy is gay, for one example. But my husband, while he doesn't come out and say much, is aanti-gay, my parents & SIL are really vocal about how gross/wrong it is, my sister doesn't say much so I don't know her true thoughts but she "follows" whatever our parents are saying, my brother is in the military and has really never been around when things are said (the SIL I spoke of is his wife). My ILs are anti-gay. We just don't talk about it that much, honestly, but if something, anything, comes up, I can't say a word or I get attacked for not feeling the same way - so I don't say anything - again, one example, on Thanksgiving we (mom, SIL, dad, couple others) were looking through Black Friday ads, and I came across a toy that Ellen had had on her show a couple of days prior. I said I saw that toy on Ellen and it was so dumb - it turned into a freaking gay attack - I just walked away because I'd been talking about a damn toy, not gay people! Argh! How would you deal with this, other than not bringing anything about anything up that they can turn into a gay bash?! My kids like to watch Ellen but I don't even dare say that (and frankly I pray my kids never say it either) or they'll probably try to say I'm turning my kids gay by letting them watch a tv show!


Asked by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on Dec. 2, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I'm sorry if there is anything that doesn't make sense - question what you want to and I'll come back to answer it.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:52 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • When anything pertaining to homosexuals comes up, just tell them straight out that you don't want to hear their crap or you'll leave. If they don't stop, leave. Eventually they'll take the hint and stop bashing around you. Sorry you have to deal with people like that, I'd be just as upset too.

    Answer by Nanixh at 3:59 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • I know some gays, and some are nice, but I don't judge them on their niceness being that would lead to "anyone" being judged, either straight or gay. I see it as not so much as a gay thing, rather that people like to want to wagon --train each other. It's like orange being the new pink. Or Sketchers** being the new Nike** If you don't join their rah--rah committee you are out. Reminds me of Christmas, when you aren't for all the hoopla or the ...*included*... or not stuff, you are a scrooge. When one chooses to live gay or is a natural gay, it's something that doesn't usually include anyone else but them and that lifestyle, so unless it's my child, and they are asking for introspect and moral advice, or warnings, I don't bother.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • My in-laws are prejudiced, homophobic, and overly religious (Catholic) so I feel your pain. I have gay and straight friends, and I am married. People around me know I will not listen to their silliness on these things. I have left the room, not replied to email(s) etc. Hatred of ANY kind is wrong, and people need to know u won't allow it in your presence. I have pointed out to my MIL that I don't judge her obesity, so I won't let her judge my friends.

    Answer by MSMama21 at 4:57 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • im sorry about your family but just be honest say how you feel they will understand i hope good luck

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 5:12 PM on Dec. 2, 2010