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Parents of the Groom?

So I am getting married in March. My fiance's parents are not happy about it but, if invited (which because I know the best way it to take the high road, they will be) they will prob come. They said they want to part in planning or paying for the wedding (which is fine) but my question is, what role do the parents of the groom usualy fill? What is their traditional jobs? I, of course, am not expecting anything but I was just curious as to what is normal.

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JLS2388

Asked by JLS2388 at 4:38 PM on Dec. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 25 (25,280 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Usually they pay for the rehearsal dinner and the flowers or something to that effect, I might be wrong on the flowers.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 4:41 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • My inlaws did ONLY the rehearsal dinner and they weren't happy about it either.
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 4:43 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • I am very sorry that your fiance's parents aren't on board with your special day. I know it will be difficult but it is your day and it needs to remain that way. As far as tradition goes it is usually customary for the grooms parents to pay for the rehersal dinner and flowers. But we also live in an age where it is starting to become the bride and grooms responsibility for the wedding as well. I would simply ask them what they would like to help with and go from there. Best of luck and congratulations!
    ditchen4

    Answer by ditchen4 at 4:43 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • Traditionally, the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner, boutonnieres and corsages for immediate family members, and the groom's cake. They also pay for their own wedding attire, travel and lodgings, and gift to the couple.

    Today, these traditions are not strictly adhered to as expenses are shared by those best able to pay. The groom's parents might volunteer to also pay for cetain aspects of the wedding, such as the flowers or beverages, or split the cost of the reception.

    If the groom's parents guest list grows beyond the budget set by the couple or bride's parents, splitting reception costs can be a reasonable solution.

    specialwingz

    Answer by specialwingz at 4:44 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • Since my wedding party is very small, I have a matron on honor, he has a best man and 3 ushers, our rehersal dinner will be very small prob like 20 people. I am gonna have it at my grandma's house (they would be invited anyway because my grandpa is a pastor and he is doing the wedding <3. But I am making all the food. I don't want to count on them for doing things. Is there any part of the ceromony that they do anything?
    JLS2388

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 4:48 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • LOL...mine are paying for the dinner, his mom and aunt are catering, doing decos and flowers, who know's what else? And giving us $25,000 to help pay for our house.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 4:49 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • bradnismyson, want to share inlaws? they could adopt my fiance' lol
    JLS2388

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 4:52 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • When my oldest DD was married the preacher asked the parents of the couple to vow to support and uphold the marriage of their children. He had a vow he recited and we all said "We do". Other than that and wedding & groom's family pictures, that's about all the "physical" involvement his parents really had.
    specialwingz

    Answer by specialwingz at 4:54 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • specialwings, somehow, I don't think his parents will want to do that, since they don't even want us to get married lol
    JLS2388

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 4:55 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • http://ourmarriage.com/html/who_pays_for_what.html Here's a link to one of the many things I found when I googled "wedding etiquette for parents of the groom". Personally - my IL's paid for the rehearsal dinner and the tux rentals - it was what my wedding planning book said was typically paid for by the groom's parents.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:58 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

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