Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Was I wrong to tell my BFF that I was TTC knowing that she is struggling too..

I have been friends with my BFF for over 7 yrs. I have a 15m old son and my DH & I are TTC again. My BFF & her husband went through a miscarriage at the beginning of the year and are still TTC. Was I wrong for telling her?
Her husbands sister is 6m pregnant and didnt tell them until a few weeks ago- I didnt want to spring a pregnancy on her, I felt like if I was honest shed have time to process it before I was sharing the news of the postivive EPT..
After I told her she texted everyday- asked if i was ovualting- asked if i had taken an ept and then out of nowhere blew up over something that happened months ago- i assumed it was her way of taking out TTC on me without having to say it..
Was i wrong for telling her?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:30 PM on Dec. 2, 2010 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (7)
  • I don't think it was wrong to tell her. On the other hand I can understand why it would be upsetting to her. Its not your fault that she is struggling to conceive though so try not to feel guilty about it. Good luck.

    MommyTanisha

    Answer by MommyTanisha at 8:33 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • thats really hard to answer. my best friend's son was born still born 2 weeks before he due date. Our sons would have only been a couple months apart. And the way she looks at my son or any other baby I can see in her eyes it breaks her heart. But honestly i don't think your wrong.
    mommyof2bbys

    Answer by mommyof2bbys at 8:34 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • I don't feel it was wrong to mention it. You could work at it together and give each other tips.
    janel09

    Answer by janel09 at 9:04 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • I think you did the RIGHT thing by being up front with her. That does NOT mean that she isn't going to be hurt and that it won't be hard for her deal with ESPECIALLY if you get pregnant before she does.

    Just try to be supportive, maybe treat both of you to a TTC massage (some spas offer this) or something.

    Be open and honest with her. Ask her if your TTC is a sore subject for her AND MOST IMPORTANTLY... Ask her how she wants to be told in the event that you get pregnant first and tell her how you want to be told if she gets pregnant first.

    I went through this with a friend. They had been TTC for a year when we decided to TTC. I got pregnant in one month. She STILL isn't pregnant (my son is 16 months old!!). I told her in a email before I told anyone else. That way it was private and she didn't have to look at me when I told her, she could cry if she needed to and compose herself before responding.

    GL!

    miasmommy21407

    Answer by miasmommy21407 at 9:10 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • You obviously DO care b/c you are thinking about it and asking for advice so you are already a great friend :) Secondly, you are best friends so you have to share this wonderful news with her at some point, right? Being someone who has had many friends before me, get pregnant while we tried for years, I can honestly say that I was genuinely happy for every one of them and happy to help plan the showers and visit with them and see how they were growing during their pregnancies......I shed tears every time I heard of 'someone else' getting pregnant, while I wasn't but I certainly don't hold a grudge because of it. Your friend will be sad for what she has lost but she is happy for you, I am sure.
    miraclewaits

    Answer by miraclewaits at 10:01 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • NO!!! You were right. It might hurt now but the pain is much less then when you are prego and she is still struggling. ALSO if you have struggles then your friend and share their experiences with you.Give her time to accept the news.
    LorisBaby

    Answer by LorisBaby at 9:55 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • No I dint think you were wrong...just dont bring it up often...unless she does first
    rebeccadac

    Answer by rebeccadac at 3:21 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN